Sunday, February 6, 2011

Day 17- Runaway!

weigh in: 173.6 lbs
loss of: 0.2 pounds

Total release to date: 16.6 pounds

Well, this 0.2 loss is probably not real, but at least I did not see a huge gain this morning.  I slipped up yesterday. :(  My daughters wanted to make these red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting.  I am sure you know where this is headed...  I thought okay well I will just chew a couple pieces of some stevia gum through the whole baking time period and I will be fine.  Baking and being on the HCG diet do not mix well for me, and I know it.  I just couldn't resist "just a taste."  And before I knew it I had eaten almost 3/4 of a cupcake with some extra tastes of left over frosting. :(  I felt awful about myself and then felt even worse when my stomach started doing flips in protest to the shock of sugar hitting my system.  Also, in the morning I was light headed and was experiencing blood sugar problems (this usually happens to me around this time).  I should have corrected the problem as described here or here (thanks Less of Me! :)).  But I did not.  Instead I shoved a cupcake in my mouth.  :(    

So, to try and compensate I shoveled snow until I almost passed out (not advisable either).  And, I just had an apple for dinner (I did eat on protocol for lunch), didn't take my evening dose of HCG (thought it would be wasted)... and then to make things worse I had a little bit of the corn bread I made for everyone else. :(  Jeez, Louise!  I just couldn't help myself and here I am today hoping severe repercussions won't be felt tomorrow.  See, when I allow myself to accept the need to "take a break" I feel so much better about the situation.  I am still in control, I guess is really the difference.  Yesterday I was not in control of myself and I end up feeling lousy.  I feel like I am on a runaway horse... 

However, today is a new day and this is part of the learning process.  If I didn't have to diet then I wouldn't have struggles with food (typically), but I do and therefore need to learn how to change my patterns and habits.  When I took my afternoon break awhile back I could feel weakness coming on and instead of just allowing myself to continue helpless on a runaway over the cliff I took hold of the reins and decided to steer away from the ledge in favor of a more healthy and self preserving path- one that I decided.


Now we really are in this on our own and there really is not a tall, dark handsome cowboy to rescue us (see picture below), but I really liked this painting- so it will do. :)  It reminds me of the stories told about my Grandpa and Grandma (my father's parents) in their courting days.  He would come racing towards her as she waited outside her home, swoop down and pick her up on the run with one arm swinging her up onto the saddle with him. (I am told, she had hair the color of a brand new penny (she was extremely beautiful and was encouraged and almost begged to enter the Miss Wyoming competition in her day, but she was not a woman of that kind of world and chose to marry my Grandpa and settle down instead)... he had jet black hair with blue sparkly eyes... I miss them. :))  So romantic! ...and a fond image I have of them in my mind.  So in the spirit of upcoming Valentine's Day and to really deviate from my initial point this is where I will close... :) lol!  Hope you all are doing better reining-in that runaway then I am at this point in time! :)  

2 comments:

  1. All I can say really is I totally understand. My week has been kind of similar. I should have just given myself and afternoon break as you did. Instead I have been fighting temptations all week with little success. But tomorrow is a new week and hopefully I can finish strong. You too. :)

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  2. I loved the story of your grandparents! God knows we all have done this - cheated and then been so frustrated with ourselves we perpetuate it! We just need to 'get back on the horse' (pun intended there!) and keep going. You have done amazing thus far and I think you should focus on your wins not your one slip up - you can do it!

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