Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Happy Holidays!

That time of year again!  I just wanted to wish you all a very happy, happy holiday before all the festivities begin!  We are all doing well and adjusting well to having the little guy around.  I will leave you with our annual family photo and a sweet baby smile...

...just melts my heart. :) :)

Wishing you all love and laughter... and stay warm for those of you getting a ridiculous amount of snow, too!  Crazy weather!   

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Goodbye, maternity pants!

...well, at least for today.  Yep, today I slipped on a pair of my old size 12 jeans... okay I squeezed into them- good ole' muffin top included :( (but my Moby Wrap covered it- got to look on the the bright side :)).  It felt so good to not have a bunch of stretchy material encompassing my midsection and slipping and sagging down every few minutes demanding readjustment.  Still have not weighed myself and don't plan on doing so until after the first of the year and even then I would like to only weigh myself when I am actually able to do something about it... ie. start a round of HCG when done nursing.

On the topic of nursing:  It has been going well all things considering.  Paine is such a good nurser and if ever I was going to exclusively nurse it would be with this baby, BUT...  I seriously only produce a max of 3-4 ounces a day, if that?  I have been taking herbs, pumping, seeking out La Leche leaders and nursing friends expertise, and receiving excellent one-on-one help and advice from my midwife and doula this whole entire time... but sometimes this is the case- no substantial milk production.  This is kind of depressing to me, especially when I pump and see barely a half an ounce filter into the container.  However, when I nurse Paine I am very happy and satisfied to give him what I can.  To see his little body nestled next to me needing and appreciating me and the closeness it brings a calm and love.  Nursing is a wonderful and yet surprisingly difficult thing.

I would also like to thank you all so much for all the comments below!  Birthing is amazing in all the ways it happens if only we provide for preparation and a different mindset for the mother and father.  I have been following Pam England's blog (see sidebar) and she has amazing insight in how to view all births... natural or otherwise as wonderful processes- so don't ever feel badly for how birth happened for you.  As an example- C-sections can be viewed as Cesarean births!  And, caregivers can give support and preparation for these types of births.  Over the course of learning about birth and how distorted our perception of the dangers have become I was frustrated and almost angry, with the fact that "they" took a natural, peaceful birth away from me when I had my girls.  But, now I understand it is more about standing up and changing our view for the now and forward on, not to blame and rather exert positive energy to the matter instead of throwing around negative feelings.  I hope, someday when my girls decide, if they choose to have children the look of obstetrics will look considerably different.   

Peace. :)

Many thanks to you all, again!  With love, yours truly!       

PS- We did finally settle on a middle name:  Paine Kanjin Murphy... Kanjin is a Japanese word meaningful in our sect of Buddhism.  It means: "Observation of one's mind"