Monday, September 28, 2009

Onion bagel

The onion bagel popped up from the toaster and the aroma was overwhelming. As I spread the cream cheese on the bread I thought I might relent and take just a small, tiny itty-bitty bite.

My girls love onion bagels with cream cheese and this is what they wanted for a snack. I ran out of the kitchen after I plopped their respective portions on their little, pink plastic plates, and started blogging about my experience staring at the bagel trying to justify a little taste. Sorry I am torturing everyone else alongside. I didn't eat a bite of that bagel and I have this blog, the scale and my followers to thank for that. I want so badly to see 14o something on the scale tomorrow and I definitely did not want the shame of reporting my crime tomorrow. :) Dieting can be so difficult! It makes me envious of those people who never have to suffer through the trials of dieting. Right now, I wish I was just naturally skinny with not a care in the world- can eat whatever I want and never gain a pound. :)

Okay, so I really don't wish those things, because regardless of the struggle this is who I am and this is my life. I have also been thinking about the breakthrough feelings I have experienced, which have ultimately led me to wholeheartedly embrace my lot in life in regard to weight and body shape: The feelings of coming to like my body even at 150 pounds, which I don't know if I would have been able to truly correct my poor self-image without losing weight. For me it took losing to really see myself and respect my body. I am enjoying clothes now. I like how I look in clothes and I really can't wait to shop, which is a new one for me! Yesterday I wore my high-heel boots. It is so amazing to walk in high-heel shoes with greater ease and grace! I LOVE heels and with almost 30 pounds gone from the load I have to carry, walking around in them is so much easier. I am enjoying feeling healthy and sexy, being able to run and changing.

Changing, the way I look, the way I carry myself and the way I feel. What a journey! I have noticed that word, journey in the titles of many the blogs I follow. It is a journey. A trip with bumps in the road and beautiful, grand vistas. It takes a lot of energy and focus to embark on this life changing journey. I feel better after writing this post. I think I will have my husband make the girls onion bagels for the next 13 or so days. haha! :) Tomorrow morning is a beginning to another day and I can't wait to get on the scale. :)

Happy losing, everyone!


  1. OMG - Onion Bagel with cream cheese made my mouth water.

  2. I am so sorry Nicole. :) How have you been? I am plugging along...