Day 11- Difficult but satisfying

weigh in:  176.2 lbs
loss of: 0.4 pounds

Total release to date:  14.0 pounds

That good ole' time-of-month returned.  I was getting used to no period since I haven't had one since February of last year and since Paine was born- pregnancy and all.  But here it is in all of its glory and thus the slow down in weight loss (at least a loss, though- got to look on the bright side).  

Dieting can be difficult, but it can also be satisfying!  This is so true!  When you are in the midst of feeling like weight loss is not going as you hoped or that the task ahead seems so daunting it can be so difficult to continue pushing through.  Remembering the sweet taste of success and how it feels when you conquer your urge to just say, "Screw it, who cares!" is the satisfying part that keeps me going.  I love it when I get through a day that seemed it would never end (or end with me completely submerged in a bucket of ice cream :)) and come out the next morning on top of the world feeling so proud and happy for myself. 

This round I am actually maintaining my resolve pretty well and I haven't had the debilitating, frustrating and seemingly uncontrollable urges I have experienced in the past.  However, I have had thoughts of just jumping held long into that jar of peanut butter as I smear the delicious spread on the pieces of bread making sandwiches for my girls.  Sometimes I think this would be so much easier if I could just go somewhere far away all on my own away from all the temptations and necessities of the other people in my home.  But, the fact is at one point you have to return to reality and it is in the choice we make ourselves better not the denial or removal of all forbidden foods.  

I also, kind of had an epiphany or rework in thought, for myself last night as I soaked in my epson salt bath that I will write about shortly.  I think it will help me get through to the end of 46 days and beyond.  We will see!    

Hope you all are well!