Let me backtrack briefly... I met with my old midwife earlier this month and it was an awkward and slightly annoying debacle. I had to bring up the issue of her leaving and I really don't think she was even going to address the fact??? Why I have no idea? Regardless, she gave me a card with contact information to a local Certified Labor Doula. This is how a whole reworking and rethinking of the situation began, which led me to read the aforementioned book. I also contacted a certified midwife in Colorado and tomorrow I am meeting her! I am so very excited!
At this point, I have a new, fresh outlook on my current situation. Pregnancy for me has always been a waiting period, ONLY such and such more weeks to go, or I can't wait to be done... etc. All of the sudden I am enjoying the process, relishing the time, contemplating my baby boy and appreciating my body. It is incredible and so empowering to allow myself to see the work and capability of my body as something to be honored and respected rather than, "Well, it will get a baby out..." I am on a journey of self-discovery and I feel like I don't have enough time now. :) How ironic! Never thought I would ever say that in a third trimester of pregnancy! :) :)
I know this is all a little elusive, but I will continue to post as it all comes more into focus for me too. I just wanted to share that no longer am I dreading labor, or pessimistically walking around waiting to get this baby out. I am stretching consciously. I am eating consciously. I am drinking tea consciously. I am taking supplements consciously. I am making art consciously. I am enjoying my girls consciously. I am in the moment for now and it has never felt better.
and listening more deeply
to the women I was working with,
I finally understood that women
have to prepare for birth
in their heart and soul,
not their head.
And that giving birth is something a woman does
in her body,
not in her head."
-Pam England, CNM, MA