This post is about my second daughter's birthday party. What a fun day! Wonderful friends made it all the better. :) But, this post is about something in particular: the color blue. Well not exactly just the color blue in of itself- I will make myself clear I promise. :) Now my second little one reminds me A LOT of me: complete tomboy, strong, athletic, wants to get in and do everything, a little bit of a show off and funny. Well, once again not the point, however cute. :) The point is when I asked her what kind of cake she wanted for her birthday she promptly replied, "I want a blue cake, Mama." I said, "Well alright, I will see what I can do." I found this amazing recipe here. No butter in the cake- called for 11 egg whites and 2 ounces of food coloring!!! And this was to be the first double layer cake I attempted (with success! :)). Once again- not really the point- I swear it is coming. :)
And here it is: The point is I didn't think a second thought with my little girl's request of blue cake and therefore a blue party. Now think about it... if my son at some point in the future asks me for a pink cake I would undoubtedly have a whole array of thoughts. I shamefully admit this, because over the years I have become completely open and supportive of gays. I believe I have no right whatsoever to judge or recoil in fear because culture has manipulated us to believe certain things about certain people. This all changes eventually anyway- I mean think about Blacks, women, other nationalities... eventually TRUE justice and equality wins out. And, so through my experiences and difficulties in life I can honestly say I would accept and love with all my heart a gay child (this was not the case not so very long and I am very proud I am not bigoted in this area anymore).
But still I would struggle I mean how would I make pink "boyish?" I could make blue "girly" for my daughter, but for my son? Am I projecting my own fears and hesitations? Would it need to be "boyish" or "girly?" No one cared about a blue party for my daughter, but there would be comments about a pink party for my son, I am sure. Should I care? What if liking pink does not mean gay??? Just a social and cultural constraint?
All rhetorical questions, and all fine and non-threatening if one does not have to address them in the moment. Very interesting how we have children with these ideals and pictures in mind and you just never know when you might be faced with such contradictions to your dreams and beliefs for your children.
Now after all that here are a few pictures: We have started a tradition: I went out and spent $10 on balloons and filled her room with them so she awoke to all of them on the ceiling (the picture doesn't really show it but they were blue and purple- once again a way to make blue more "girly" I guess???).
And just because I love her curls!
The cake! It turned out beautiful and quite yummy! The stars are kind of symbolic too, my daughters run around many times singing at the top of their lungs, "I AM A SHOOTING STAR!!!" And it is the most adorable, although loud thing. :) Little shooting stars, that is what they are. :)
I told you it was BLUE!!! That is what 2 ounces of food coloring will do! :)
Hope you all are well and I will be back shortly with another post! :)
My mind has run with these thoughts,too. I'm the mother of seven with my first four being daughters and the last three were sons. I felt like a nervous first time mother when I had my son. My experience.....
ReplyDeleteFirst, you know you will love your child no matter what they chose to do in life. Second, your son has two older sisters and he will likely be wearing pink nail polish while playing with trucks, carry his favorite action figures in a black velvet purse and describe his new Sponge Bob pajamas as being super cute.
When it's finally time to go off to school this is all left behind...by the time they are teens they've learned chores aren't divided by gender,a pink polo shirt can be cool and you can dance but still look tough.