Monday, November 8, 2010

Renewed sense of the brilliance and fragility of life

Right now, I am sitting here crying, because I just read this blog post: Sew Liberated

Tears just keep coming. The woman who writes the blog is pregnant and is dealing with the fact that her unborn son has been diagnosed with hypoplastic left heart syndrome.

I feel so ashamed over fretting over my body and what it is meant to do at this time. I have so much wonderfulness in my life and here I am whining and wishing some things were different, or certain people would act differently, and I could just escape. And, the comments you all left in the past post made me feel so connected and loved... and yet ashamed too. I am not alone in my feelings nor is my body image the crisis of the world. I know we all can't help our feelings and the trivial things that can send us over the edge, but if the stories that can break our hearts don't make us stand in our tracks and make us pull our heads out of rear ends and quit wallowing in self pity then we aren't truly human. Why is it, some immensely fortunate people are blind to their wonderful life and the incredible people surrounding them taking for granted that the people in their life will just and always be there? I am guilty. And, although you all are right that I don't necessarily need to feel badly for my feelings... it somehow makes me feel more whole again knowing I am not so self absorbed that a renewed sense and respect for the brilliance and fragility of life can enter my heart.

My heart and thoughts go out to the family and the mother, who I don't even know (I follow her blog because she is a Montessori teacher, talented seamstress, and lovely mom) who are going through a period of pregnancy that will have a most dramatic and nerve wrecking ending. Losing baby weight and stretch marks are really of no consequence.

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