Tonight I went to my first Fit For 2 class. Now, don't ask me to bend down and pick something up. My inner thighs are still burning! Will be doing a lot of toning in that area getting ready for the big day. :)
I can't tell you how excited I am to be going to this class. It is so nice to be around other pregnant women of all different sizes and trimesters. It is twice a week (one night is dedicated to Yoga and Pilates and the other to strength training). I wanted to attend during my pregnancy with my second, but somehow never coordinated and demanded that time for myself. I just feel like I need this desperately right now. I need the motivation. I need the time outside of the house. I need the time away from my girls. I need the time around other people. I have been going just a little insane. :)
On another topic... recently, I found out (in the newspaper, might I add) that my midwife is leaving in October! I was so emotional about this I uncontrollably sobbed and sobbed for what seemed forever. I wish she would have told me herself, but I guess whatever. Anyway, more importantly she delivered both of my first babies and she is so important to me because I don't have my mom. I delivered on pitocin without an epidural, and that is no small feat. I can't do that with just a regular doctor who comes in at the end. I need some woman who can help me through it, and my midwife was that person.
I hate my mother for not being there for me and the births of my children. And, yes hate is a strong, terrible word but I mean it. For what a crappy mother she has been to me the last 7 years she was a great mom and would have been perfect with helping me in delivery. You know how a good mother usually knows exactly how to comfort and calm you, well I will never deny her that. But a lot of good it does me now.
However, I am pretty well over all the shock and helpless feelings of losing my midwife, and now am moving forward. This baby is coming whether I have my midwife, mother or not and I need to accept that and move on. I guess they are replacing my midwife with another and I hope to meet her on the 3rd to see if I like her and can see her being there during my labor and delivery. I am also keeping another possibility in the back of my mind and that would be to have my Grandma or Aunt with me. We will see, I would rather not ask that of them, but I know they would be there for me if I really needed them.
Right now, though I am enjoying trying to prepare my mind and body for what I have to do and exercise is a beautiful thing. I really hope someday to become basically addicted to exercise. I need it, everyone needs it. :) I hope you all are doing well and I will be in touch...
Goodnight.
Do you think if you reached out & contacted this midwife personally, and let her know how much her presence would mean to you, at your baby's birth, that she might help you? I would think, that after she had helped you with 2 previous births, she might feel something special towards you too, and might make an exception. Its certainly worth a try- If she can't make it, then go with the other midwife. But I would DEFINITELY let the original midwife know how much it would mean to you, to have her there helping you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about your Mom. Apparently, she just isn't able to deal with being there for you. It breaks my heart for you, that she isn't able to step up to the plate & be what you need, when you need it. Unfortunately, it puts you in the position of having to be strong, at a time when you'd like to be cared for. God will place another in her place; you can be sure of that.
Wow! working out with a baby on board-- you are a champ!! It sounds like a wonderful break for you on all fronts- me-time, exercise time, time with other adult women in a similar circumstance. You need all of that!
You sound good, despite this setback (maybe-I'm praying for the original midwife to be there for you!). Its SO good to read your posts, and hear how you're doing! I've missed you!!!
Love you!
It is SO good to hear from you, m'dear! You sound wonderful, despite losing your midwife and not having your mom in your corner. I am so sorry to hear that. You truly are one of the strongest women I know, going through any pregnancy without your mother. It breaks my heart she won't be there for you.
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing person!!
Man, you are going to be so toned by the time this baby arrives!!! Goodness, woman!
Thanks for checking in! It's wonderful to hear from you.
Hugs to you, and you look GREAT in your pic.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your VERY sweet comment for me today- It was just what I needed. Like you, I need to figure out how to maintain my losses. I can lose fine, but when I hit P3/P4, it all goes to hell in a hand-basket! I'm going to read 'Women, Food, and God' by Geneen Roth, and hope to learn something.
ReplyDelete