Sunday, April 25, 2010


I am not going to lie it has been a rough several weeks. Tonight I had a burst of energy that made me almost forget the miserableness I have been going through. It was a weird burst of energy though. One where I didn't stop cleaning my house, but where at moments I would intermittently burst into tears? However, I have had a week where I felt like I really needed to cry and I just couldn't. So, it felt good. Crying is funny that way. It can be very healing and soothing sometimes.

Anyway, I am actually only about 11 weeks right now so not as far as I had originally thought. We had a sonogram (will post the pictures at some point). It was nice to see that it really is a tiny, little growing baby causing all the trouble and not some parasite or something. :)

I have not weighed for about 2 weeks. I am terrified. I thought I was fine for awhile and then all of the sudden I started fitting back into some of my larger sized clothing. :( Oh, man this pregnancy is going to be hard in the weight gain area. I just am not ready to get all big again. I am one of those women who get big and puffy all over- not just the cute pregnant belly. I guess it is difficult after you lose a lot of weight just to have it decimated within a matter of months or in my case weeks. I am a little overwhelmed also with the daunting 7 months ahead. It seems like such a long time to basically be on hold and dedicate my body to growing a baby. I never had these feelings with my first two, but this one is definitely different. Perhaps when I start feeling better these feelings will go away and I can just settle into the great work. :)

I am just lonely and stir crazy (and yet don't really want to be around anyone or do anything) and the weather we have been getting is not helping. We received a ton of snow yesterday (and it was thundering while it was snowing- you can never guess the weather here :)). And, we got some more snow this evening. I just want green, lilacs and warm sun. That is one of the symptoms I am having during this pregnancy- chills and fever. I can't regulate my temperature among other undesirable symptoms. Oh boy, I am such a whiner. But, hey this is a blog and you got to expect some of that. :)

I am dreaming of a spring to come to our neck of the woods soon and along with it relief from first trimester symptoms. So, I will leave you with a couple photos I took last spring of some flowers that will surely return to our backyard, I hope?! :) I was just thinking... I was still larger than what I am now last spring. Can't believe it is coming up on a year of successful weight loss on HCG?! Well, this time next year I should be nearing my goal again...


  1. it sounds like your hormones might be playing with you just now! Nothing unusual considering your condition! Even though you will gain some weight during this pregnancy, you have all the tools at hand afterwards, to lose it. You also know better food choices to make for yourself and your baby during your pregnancy. Are you having any cravings? At 11 weeks, you should be nearing the end of the morning sickness time I hope? You will feel better soon- hang in there!

    sending you lots of hugs!! (glad to see your post)

  2. You're doing great, I agree with LavenderD, it's definitely your hormones kicking in. I had 5 pregnancies and they were all completely different! LOL. Just wait until you see that bundle of joy and she/he wraps those tiny little fingers around your pinkie! Babies smell so good! Can't wait to see pictures!
    Oh! And don't forget most of baby gain is lost within the first month after delivery--esp. if you breastfeed!

  3. Those hormones can really mess with us. I'm sure that's what's happening. Just ride the waves.

    Please don't panic about the weight! LD is exactly right, as is nikki.

    It is soooo good to see you.

  4. Hey! How are you doing? Are you feeling any better? I miss you!