I am still here :)

Hello, to you all! I can't believe it has been so long since I last blogged. My apologies again. I have just not had a lot to say, because I have done so poorly maintaining as of late. I have no idea what I weigh right now- haven't weighed in 3 days and the last time I weighed I was 9 pounds over my lowest weight. :( :( However, I have been reading some blogs and lavenderdiva and helderheid you both have given me some inspiration and hope. So, I hope to get it back under control before I start another round coming up here pretty soon.

I guess I was not in such a great place when I quit HCG and I held it together for awhile and then just got really lackadaisical and lost focus. It really is terrible to gain weight back. Don't do it, if you can help it. I feel so fat it is just ridiculous. One thing I have learned is I am more aware of my body and can feel an increase of weight even before I weigh (not that I have done anything about it). I find this comforting, because before HCG I really did not have a handle on weight fluctuations and really had no sense of gain or loss in my own body. I guess it is the awareness and therefore the potential for control that comforts me. I really need to get it together and get on with achieving my goal. I can't lose sight of my goal or waiver in my resolve and confidence in my ability to reach my goal weight.

I have still been pole dancing (completely fun!) and I know when I do this upcoming round my new muscles are really going to show through nicely. Can't wait! :) It takes some strength and I am proud of my progress. I need to lose and maintain my weight for my confidence in this area, too. I have also been doing light activity here and there, but just not eating cleanly or correcting gains at all. :( I will try to update more frequently and fill you guys in as to my hopeful success getting back down to my lowest weight.

The puppy is doing great- we now just have Kinta, because the parents-in-law took Abby home with them a couple weeks ago. It is nice just having one now. :) She is a good little puppy- still working on the potty training though. It will come. :) We still have tons of snow and it feels as if spring will never come, which reminds me... this is the first spring and summer I am looking forward to in the realm of clothing. Usually, I get so anxious about the weather turning warmer, because that means no more sweaters, vests and bulky clothing to cover my body in the hopes of feeling better about myself. I am so excited and all the more reason to get a little more serious. :)

Okay, I got to run- but I am glad to drop in real quick and way to keep up the great work to you all! Until next time...