Seriously, I wrote that post thinking it would just sit there and I could be content knowing that it was out there and not in me, you know. But little did I expect... the friends I once was so tight and in rhythm with would show up with such encouragement!
I love you all and am so thankful to you all for reaching out to me...
I will try to be back later... I just didn't want to let this moment to pass to say thank you!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Do I even care?
There comes a time in life when you could be on the verge of disaster... or perhaps greatness. I believe I am at one of those junctures (not to be dramatic- but that is how it feels to me at the moment). Anyway, the path diverges into two paths, or so I think. What really lies before me is a dizzyingly, confusing array of infinite paths changing constantly based on present causes and actions... blah, blah, blah :)
So to get right down to the point. I think I am going to start anew. A new blog. A new focus. This will be based on what determination I make now. I need to do something NOW to make a change in myself and in my life... for those around me who depend on me and love me. I also need to make some sort of change for myself. No one likes feeling down, stagnant, trapped or hopeless.
However, as I write these words they somehow ring empty, hollow. I have a tinge of feeling that I am just full of shit (for lack of better descriptors)--- that I won't do what is imperative- that I will continue to sit down- that I will fail because I failed to even try. I hate this feeling most... not really believing my own words... knowing deep down that perhaps I just really don't care.
Please let me be wrong and let me resolve to push the above feelings away and push on and forward--- get over this hump, get around this bend, get out of this rut, get out of this hole... whatever it is it has lasted far too long... and I need to get as far away from it as I can!
I just needed to send this out into the ether. I hope you all are well in whatever, wherever, and however you are... miss you all!
So to get right down to the point. I think I am going to start anew. A new blog. A new focus. This will be based on what determination I make now. I need to do something NOW to make a change in myself and in my life... for those around me who depend on me and love me. I also need to make some sort of change for myself. No one likes feeling down, stagnant, trapped or hopeless.
However, as I write these words they somehow ring empty, hollow. I have a tinge of feeling that I am just full of shit (for lack of better descriptors)--- that I won't do what is imperative- that I will continue to sit down- that I will fail because I failed to even try. I hate this feeling most... not really believing my own words... knowing deep down that perhaps I just really don't care.
Please let me be wrong and let me resolve to push the above feelings away and push on and forward--- get over this hump, get around this bend, get out of this rut, get out of this hole... whatever it is it has lasted far too long... and I need to get as far away from it as I can!
I just needed to send this out into the ether. I hope you all are well in whatever, wherever, and however you are... miss you all!
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