Tonight I went to my first Fit For 2 class. Now, don't ask me to bend down and pick something up. My inner thighs are still burning! Will be doing a lot of toning in that area getting ready for the big day. :)
I can't tell you how excited I am to be going to this class. It is so nice to be around other pregnant women of all different sizes and trimesters. It is twice a week (one night is dedicated to Yoga and Pilates and the other to strength training). I wanted to attend during my pregnancy with my second, but somehow never coordinated and demanded that time for myself. I just feel like I need this desperately right now. I need the motivation. I need the time outside of the house. I need the time away from my girls. I need the time around other people. I have been going just a little insane. :)
On another topic... recently, I found out (in the newspaper, might I add) that my midwife is leaving in October! I was so emotional about this I uncontrollably sobbed and sobbed for what seemed forever. I wish she would have told me herself, but I guess whatever. Anyway, more importantly she delivered both of my first babies and she is so important to me because I don't have my mom. I delivered on pitocin without an epidural, and that is no small feat. I can't do that with just a regular doctor who comes in at the end. I need some woman who can help me through it, and my midwife was that person.
I hate my mother for not being there for me and the births of my children. And, yes hate is a strong, terrible word but I mean it. For what a crappy mother she has been to me the last 7 years she was a great mom and would have been perfect with helping me in delivery. You know how a good mother usually knows exactly how to comfort and calm you, well I will never deny her that. But a lot of good it does me now.
However, I am pretty well over all the shock and helpless feelings of losing my midwife, and now am moving forward. This baby is coming whether I have my midwife, mother or not and I need to accept that and move on. I guess they are replacing my midwife with another and I hope to meet her on the 3rd to see if I like her and can see her being there during my labor and delivery. I am also keeping another possibility in the back of my mind and that would be to have my Grandma or Aunt with me. We will see, I would rather not ask that of them, but I know they would be there for me if I really needed them.
Right now, though I am enjoying trying to prepare my mind and body for what I have to do and exercise is a beautiful thing. I really hope someday to become basically addicted to exercise. I need it, everyone needs it. :) I hope you all are doing well and I will be in touch...
Goodnight.
