Tomorrow will be Day 19. I am fading fast, more than I would really like to admit. This round has kicked my butt. I am going to ask all my wonderful readers and fellow HCGer's out there one simple question: What if? What if a person does not go the full 23 days? What happens? Yeah, yeah- I know I am almost there, but seriously I just don't want to keep doing this to myself... It is another 8 days really if you add the 3 maximum days and 7 days if you add a max of 2 days after discontinuing HCG. I was thinking of just taking it easy through the rest of the year and then doing a third round in January. My hope is that I would be ready for round 3 and therefore able to really focus and get down to a possible 129 pounds??? That would be another 18 pounds from what I weigh now. When I work out the numbers it is a little disheartening. Still 18 pounds to go, phewwww! If, somehow I can continue on round 2, I won't do another round (unless I really screw things up and gain an exorbitant amount of weight back- *knock on wood,* please :)). If, somehow I can get down to 139- that would be it for me, theoretically and based on the moment right at this time. But, if I do end up doing a third round I would hope I could stick to it with greater ease and therefore lose at least 18 pounds.
I feel like crying right now, because I feel like I have failed. I feel like I should be able to do this and yet I am fighting myself so furiously. I am seriously struggling so badly during this round. Do I just need to suck it up and get through the next 7 days minimum? Or, can I call it good? And, from everyone's experience is round 3 easier? I mean, even just a tad more easy and I would be happy! I know things that are worth while don't come easy, but.... jeez!
Oh, by the way, because I am sure everyone is wondering what happened on the scale this morning- I only lost 0.2 pounds. I followed everything precisely! I screamed while standing on the scale. : { Please talk me out of this! :) Maybe I should just go until Friday and then see what happens? Except I gave in and ate 3 caramels a couple hours ago. :( I don't know what it is about the caramel!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Day 17, Round 2- I can do this!
weigh in: 147.6 pounds
loss of: 1.6 pounds
total loss to date: 14.4 pounds
This morning I am back at the lowest weight I have attained while on this diet. I can do this! Only 8.6 pounds to go! Yesterday, was a nice day all things considering. I didn't have any hankerings or urges which is always good. :) I drank a lot of water and green tea. I also ate two apples one for lunch and the other about mid afternoon. I just didn't feel like eating lunch. For dinner I ate some hamburger with taco seasoning and spinach, tomato and onion on top. It was good.
I am anxiously awaiting weigh in tomorrow morning. :) I think I have it all out of my system. Time will tell, but I feel good and ready to take on the upcoming days! I am just glad that I have remained honest with everyone and myself through not only my successes, but more importantly my struggles. There have been days when I just haven't wanted to fess up, but have done so anyway. It is of no help to me or others if I don't tell the truth and nothing but the truth...
loss of: 1.6 pounds
total loss to date: 14.4 pounds
This morning I am back at the lowest weight I have attained while on this diet. I can do this! Only 8.6 pounds to go! Yesterday, was a nice day all things considering. I didn't have any hankerings or urges which is always good. :) I drank a lot of water and green tea. I also ate two apples one for lunch and the other about mid afternoon. I just didn't feel like eating lunch. For dinner I ate some hamburger with taco seasoning and spinach, tomato and onion on top. It was good.
I am anxiously awaiting weigh in tomorrow morning. :) I think I have it all out of my system. Time will tell, but I feel good and ready to take on the upcoming days! I am just glad that I have remained honest with everyone and myself through not only my successes, but more importantly my struggles. There have been days when I just haven't wanted to fess up, but have done so anyway. It is of no help to me or others if I don't tell the truth and nothing but the truth...
Monday, October 5, 2009
Day 16, Round 2- GET TO 139.
weigh in: 149.2 pounds
gain of: 1.6 pounds
total loss to date: 12.8 pounds
average loss of: 0.9 pounds/day (if you round up :))
Yesterday I had an overwhelming desire to eat again. I fended off the hunger and desire since the day before yesterday, but couldn't hold out any longer. I weighed my options. We were going to a dinner party at our friends house that evening and I really wanted to eat the food. And, boy am I glad I did! The tenderloin was so tasty I ate quite a large portion! The salad, cheese and crackers, mushrooms and dessert (yep, I ate a little bit of apple streusel) were so delicious! When I look back on it, I am glad that I made the decision. I am going to have to go longer than 23 days more than likely, so it was nice not to kill myself or guilt myself yesterday. I can manage an increase in weight and stomach issues which accompany such a decision. I am dealing with the consequences. :)
I am also wondering how long it is going to take me to hit 139 pounds??? I am thinking, as I have last round to cut my losses, admit I just don't have the stamina to wait it out until I hit my goal (132 lbs.) and get as far as I can. I am going to push myself until I reach 139 pounds, and see what happens from there. That is only another 10.2 pounds instead of the 17.2 pounds it is going to take to reach 132.
I don't know if this is just cheating myself or not? However, I am just so very happy with how I look and feel! I would love all of your input on the situation. I also, really appreciate all of your comments informing me that apparently the second round is typically more difficult, for reasons that are not exactly clear. I think for me it is mainly psychological, but I am also having more difficulty keeping my energy up. So, this is my advice- if you are losing consistently on your first round, go as long as you possibly can. You won't regret it! I think I could have pushed through another 10 or so days and at a constant pound a day loss I would have been further along going into my second round. I don't know? Hindsight is 20/20. :) However, honestly it really isn't because what is to say I would have kept losing a pound a day with relative ease? Who knows? You can only look forward and at this moment I just need to stay focused and determined- GET TO 139. GET TO 139. GET TO 139. This will be my mantra. :)
gain of: 1.6 pounds
total loss to date: 12.8 pounds
average loss of: 0.9 pounds/day (if you round up :))
Yesterday I had an overwhelming desire to eat again. I fended off the hunger and desire since the day before yesterday, but couldn't hold out any longer. I weighed my options. We were going to a dinner party at our friends house that evening and I really wanted to eat the food. And, boy am I glad I did! The tenderloin was so tasty I ate quite a large portion! The salad, cheese and crackers, mushrooms and dessert (yep, I ate a little bit of apple streusel) were so delicious! When I look back on it, I am glad that I made the decision. I am going to have to go longer than 23 days more than likely, so it was nice not to kill myself or guilt myself yesterday. I can manage an increase in weight and stomach issues which accompany such a decision. I am dealing with the consequences. :)
I am also wondering how long it is going to take me to hit 139 pounds??? I am thinking, as I have last round to cut my losses, admit I just don't have the stamina to wait it out until I hit my goal (132 lbs.) and get as far as I can. I am going to push myself until I reach 139 pounds, and see what happens from there. That is only another 10.2 pounds instead of the 17.2 pounds it is going to take to reach 132.
I don't know if this is just cheating myself or not? However, I am just so very happy with how I look and feel! I would love all of your input on the situation. I also, really appreciate all of your comments informing me that apparently the second round is typically more difficult, for reasons that are not exactly clear. I think for me it is mainly psychological, but I am also having more difficulty keeping my energy up. So, this is my advice- if you are losing consistently on your first round, go as long as you possibly can. You won't regret it! I think I could have pushed through another 10 or so days and at a constant pound a day loss I would have been further along going into my second round. I don't know? Hindsight is 20/20. :) However, honestly it really isn't because what is to say I would have kept losing a pound a day with relative ease? Who knows? You can only look forward and at this moment I just need to stay focused and determined- GET TO 139. GET TO 139. GET TO 139. This will be my mantra. :)
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Day 14 & Day 15, Round 2
Yesterday morning I had gained! I got up to 149.2 pounds, but this morning I am back down to 147.6 pounds. Go figure?!
Day 14-
gain of: 0.6 pounds
Day 15-
loss of: 1.6 pounds
Is my scale really acting up, now? I don't know? Yesterday I ate cleanly and the only thing I can guess from the day before that made me go up 0.6 pounds is I used a little ketchup on my turkey patty. I have used it before, though with no gains? Yesterday I took a brisk walk with my friend and did a yoga routine last night, so that probably helped me get back down.
Round 2 does kind of stink! It is more difficult, that is for sure! I am missing the consistency of Round 1. :( Oh well, I guess I should be happy because I have lost a total of 14.4 pounds during this round. Not bad. I am not counting gains and additional losses-162 (starting weight) - 147.6 pounds. I don't want to exaggerate it, although I have had to actually lose more than 14.4 pounds to be at 147.6.
So, here is to a good weight loss tomorrow! I also wanted to thank everyone again for the wonderful comments! Regardless, of some difficulty as of late I am feeling great and it sure is nice to have all of you following my story and giving me such encouragement! I LOVE reading all of your stories and being together on this! Oh, and thanks to my 12 FOLLOWERS pictured in the sidebar!!! That is awesome! Until tomorrow!
Day 14-
gain of: 0.6 pounds
Day 15-
loss of: 1.6 pounds
Is my scale really acting up, now? I don't know? Yesterday I ate cleanly and the only thing I can guess from the day before that made me go up 0.6 pounds is I used a little ketchup on my turkey patty. I have used it before, though with no gains? Yesterday I took a brisk walk with my friend and did a yoga routine last night, so that probably helped me get back down.
Round 2 does kind of stink! It is more difficult, that is for sure! I am missing the consistency of Round 1. :( Oh well, I guess I should be happy because I have lost a total of 14.4 pounds during this round. Not bad. I am not counting gains and additional losses-162 (starting weight) - 147.6 pounds. I don't want to exaggerate it, although I have had to actually lose more than 14.4 pounds to be at 147.6.
So, here is to a good weight loss tomorrow! I also wanted to thank everyone again for the wonderful comments! Regardless, of some difficulty as of late I am feeling great and it sure is nice to have all of you following my story and giving me such encouragement! I LOVE reading all of your stories and being together on this! Oh, and thanks to my 12 FOLLOWERS pictured in the sidebar!!! That is awesome! Until tomorrow!
Saturday, October 3, 2009
quote of the moment
Most people can look back over the years and identify a time and place at which their lives changed significantly. Whether by accident or design, these are the moments when, because of a readiness within us and a collaboration with events occurring around us, we are forced to seriously reappraise ourselves and the conditions under which we live and to make certain choices that will affect the rest of our lives. -Frederick F. Flack
The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. -Charles DuBois
Friday, October 2, 2009
That's me?!
Yes, it sure is! I have always been so disapproving of most pictures taken of me, but that is changing. :) So, here is a picture of me to commemorate my entry into the 140's! It has been a good 5 years since I have weighed this much and I feel like celebrating! Not with food- just a nice picture of myself I can be proud of (no Photoshop- see post Good Riddance, Girdles! :)).
Have a happy weekend!
Day 13, Round 2- Back on Track!
Let me start with catching up from yesterday:
October 1, 2009
Day 12
weigh in: 150.6 pounds
loss of: 0.6 pounds
Now for this morning! As you can see I am pretty excited. :) I am in the 140's, YIPEEEE!!!!
weigh in: 148.6 pounds!!!
loss of: 2.0 pounds!
total loss to date: 13.2 pounds!!!
Yesterday I was not pleased at all and didn't want to share my disappointment. I felt like something was wrong and I was never going to lose more weight than I already had. This morning I feel back on track. So, to all my readers- if you're in a rut, try and keep your chin up. I know that sounds silly and basically impossible, because I am suggesting something that I couldn't even do. However, we need to try and see, that although we may be frustrated at the moment- there will be a morning when all that frustration is dispelled and you are renewed and ready to take on that fat by storm. HCG is AWESOME, and although we have been told a million times how it works and what to expect sometimes we forget and it ultimately takes a decrease of the scale reading to snap us out of it. We are fickle creatures, I tell you. :)
Anyway, here is what I ate yesterday. I apologize, I can't remember what I ate on Day 12, isn't that awful?! It was just regular protocol foods- nothing out of the ordinary.
Lunch:
lean ground turkey with sliced onion on top (I don't know if this is allowed, but I tried it anyway. The taste wasn't all together that great- kind of bland, but it seemed to work! :))
4 strawberries
I was quite full and due to poor scheduling and a hectic day I did not eat dinner yesterday. I had an apple about mid afternoon.
Good day of losing or maintaining to everyone!
Oh, and I forgot to point out another milestone I have reached besides hitting the 140 pound range. I have passed a total of 30 pounds lost since I started HCG in late July with a loss of 31.6 pounds!!! Look to sidebar. :)
October 1, 2009
Day 12
weigh in: 150.6 pounds
loss of: 0.6 pounds
Now for this morning! As you can see I am pretty excited. :) I am in the 140's, YIPEEEE!!!!
weigh in: 148.6 pounds!!!
loss of: 2.0 pounds!
total loss to date: 13.2 pounds!!!
Yesterday I was not pleased at all and didn't want to share my disappointment. I felt like something was wrong and I was never going to lose more weight than I already had. This morning I feel back on track. So, to all my readers- if you're in a rut, try and keep your chin up. I know that sounds silly and basically impossible, because I am suggesting something that I couldn't even do. However, we need to try and see, that although we may be frustrated at the moment- there will be a morning when all that frustration is dispelled and you are renewed and ready to take on that fat by storm. HCG is AWESOME, and although we have been told a million times how it works and what to expect sometimes we forget and it ultimately takes a decrease of the scale reading to snap us out of it. We are fickle creatures, I tell you. :)
Anyway, here is what I ate yesterday. I apologize, I can't remember what I ate on Day 12, isn't that awful?! It was just regular protocol foods- nothing out of the ordinary.
Lunch:
lean ground turkey with sliced onion on top (I don't know if this is allowed, but I tried it anyway. The taste wasn't all together that great- kind of bland, but it seemed to work! :))
4 strawberries
I was quite full and due to poor scheduling and a hectic day I did not eat dinner yesterday. I had an apple about mid afternoon.
Good day of losing or maintaining to everyone!
Oh, and I forgot to point out another milestone I have reached besides hitting the 140 pound range. I have passed a total of 30 pounds lost since I started HCG in late July with a loss of 31.6 pounds!!! Look to sidebar. :)
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