Pictures from the past

I thought I would take a moment to dig up some pictures from the past. Some of them have never been seen by eyes other than my own until today, and others have been tagged photos of me on Facebook- to my horror. :) No, now they are kind of badges of honor or a source of inspiration.

Without further ado...

Me and my husband on our anniversary, last year on June 10th. About a month and a half before I started my first round. Never posted this picture.

July of last year. Yikes!

Last winter. Notice the braces. Oh, the joys of having braces as an adult. :)

At my friend's wedding in the summer of 2007. This photo is so embarrassing. I mean what was I thinking?! Cramming myself in a dress and jacket that didn't even come anywhere near fitting, seriously! But, my baby is just a little doll. :)

A couple weeks into Round 1 last summer.

Halloween 2006. This photo doesn't really reveal my weight, but check out my crooked teeth?! :( This was before braces and reconstruction work. I hated my smile. Oh, how I am so happy to have a nice smile now! Having my teeth finally fixed after many, many years has also been a huge factor in my confidence and overall transformation.

I can't believe I am sharing all these pictures, but it feels nice to not be all that bothered by the exposure. I guess that is the beauty of being 35-40 pounds away from the girl in the above photos.

I am really enjoying maintenance thus far with no anxiety or impatience about another round in the near future. It is nice to relax and not be so consumed with weight loss.

What I have learned through this process:

1. HCG is not for everyone. It happens to be for me (although I need a break right now), but make no mistake about it: there is not magical pill, injection or drops. :)
2. Dieting takes extreme focus and determination. If you don't have it, you might as well bag it until you do.
3. My advice for people thinking about taking HCG: Go as long as you can during Round 1 without going too many days- find a balance. If I could go back I would have gone 40-45 days.
   
4. Take longer breaks between rounds if you find you don't have the stamina. This does not mean you are a failure.
5. HCG is freaking awesome! Even though I hate it right now. :) Eventually, I will write a post on all the benefits of HCG I have observed.
   

And, the number one thing I have learned:

1. People care. People are willing to be there for you when you need support while losing weight. You all have been here for me, and the comments I received in the below post and all during this process are just phenomenal and truly helpful! Thank you, thank you!!! I would not have gained and grown as much from this experience if it were not for an outlet to learn, vent, whine, share, rejoice and describe my experience to people who really care.

Day 10, Round 3- Little black dress...

weigh in: 145.4 pounds
loss of: 1.0 pound
total loss of: 9.8 pounds

It has been a crazy past two days. I am not really sure what all happened, but I am still down regardless of not being strict to protocol. I went to a craft night where there was a wonderful sampling of casseroles and I had some (a very small portion mind you, but still). Last night was our annual Realtor Christmas party. We had such a good time and I ate prime rib and fruit and some corn (I resisted the starches!). I would like to take a little more time to discuss the party, because for the first time in my life I wore a black strapless dress. I felt amazing! I was cleaning my downstairs closets last weekend and I came across an old bridesmaid dress. I never wore this dress. I was to be in a wedding 6 months after I had my first daughter and I was so much larger than I had ever been in my life. I brilliantly, ordered the dress 3 sizes too small thinking I would work hard to lose weight to fit into the dress. I must have been insane! I would have had to lose 35 pounds!!! I know this because I just tried it on for kicks and it fit perfectly!

I want to share my new found love of alteration! This is the dress before alterations (I just had it shortened to right below my knee): I look weighed down and not as skinny as I really am, but...

Here it is after!!! A completely different dress! I got a beautiful party dress for the cost of $30 in alterations. (Sorry, I didn't want to take the time to set up the tripod and the mirror is pretty dirty with little kid hand prints :)). I think I look pretty darn amazing!


I found these adorable shoes downtown! Love them!

I have a collarbone and shoulders!!! :)

My handsome date! ;)

Cutting a rug! My husband and I danced and tried to remember the West Coast Swing dance we learned a few months ago, but to no avail. We have fun anyway! I also got to dance some western swing with our friend and fellow Realtor. I haven't danced that dance for years and it was so much fun! My husband got some shots, but unfortunately my camera doesn't do so well in low light.


It was so wonderful to have people notice how differently I look since last Christmas, but more importantly it was how I felt this year- confident and beautiful! No girdles, uncomfortable self-conscious tugging at my dress or rearranging in the bathroom- just fun and enjoyment of a night out in the company of my husband and friends.

Happy Holidays! December has officially begun! :)

Happy, happy Halloween

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Today has been a very happy, happy Halloween already. I bought a pair of jeans! Size 9/10! It was great! My friend came with me and it was so nice having her opinion. The last time I went shopping for jeans I had to begrudgingly and disappointedly walk over to the plus section. I remember that day about a year ago like it was yesterday. I remember how I felt and the feelings I had were those of helplessness, embarrassment and anger at myself for letting myself get to this point. The futility of desperately tyring to cram myself in a 14 was awful. I remember snapping at the skinny girl who came to the fitting room door to ask if anything was fitting, "NO!" And then adding, sheepishly, "I think I need to go up a size." So there I was in the plus section not knowing what to do about myself: "This is it, this is going to be me." Oh, how I wish I knew then what I know now. :)

I will remember this day also! I will remember the afternoon of Halloween '09 when I met a great friend downtown to go shopping. I will remember defeating the weight I had acquired. I will remember feeling good about myself. What a victorious day!

Can't wait to take the girls trick-or-treating tonight! The sun came out today and started melting off the record amount of snow we received this October. However, it is nice because there are a couple places who sponsor indoor trick-or-treating, which is wonderful because you just never know how the weather will be.

On a final note, I will leave you with a picture of me in the pair of pants I bought today (size 9/10) while holding up the ones I bought a year ago (size 16). Sorry, about the poor quality. I couldn't get it all in one picture, but I think it is pretty interesting. I can almost fit into one leg of the old pants. Wow! :)


Have a wonderful Halloween, everyone!

That's me?!

Yes, it sure is! I have always been so disapproving of most pictures taken of me, but that is changing. :) So, here is a picture of me to commemorate my entry into the 140's! It has been a good 5 years since I have weighed this much and I feel like celebrating! Not with food- just a nice picture of myself I can be proud of (no Photoshop- see post Good Riddance, Girdles! :)).

Have a happy weekend!

Good Riddance, Girdles!

Today I wore a vest and jeans I wore continually last fall, because I loved and still do (I can zip it up now- that's a wonderful feeling) the brown vest which I thought covered up some of my problem areas. However, I wore a Kimora girdle without fail almost everyday. I HATE GIRDLES! My husband hates them even more.

So, I just want to say GOOD RIDDANCE to those terrible, awfully uncomfortable girdles! What torture I put myself through because I felt so poorly about my appearance. And, my husband used to say, "I don't know why you wear that thing? I am sorry, but I can't really tell a difference anyway." It used to make me mad, but the truth hurts, right?! :) Well, those days are gone, regardless of not being to my goal weight yet.

This is a picture of me and my girls last fall in the brown vest and jeans I am referring to in the above paragraphs, and let me tell you I got darn good at hiding myself in a picture. Oh and Photoshop helps too! :) It is amazing what lighting and clone stamp tools magically do to a person. What a cheater I am! Anyway, in the following picture I have that stupid girdle on, my kids are hiding me and I found if you sit with your butt down (like in a wagon) your legs will appear smaller. So, this picture is really basically a farce when it comes to my actual body. But, oh well I still LOVE it! My girls are so adorable!

I think I am going to have a girdle burning party someday in the future. haha! :) I also, wanted to mention I actually almost forgot about that constricting girdle until today when I put on these clothes. It thought it was going to get away unscathed. Not so
fast! :)

Thank you again for humoring my ramblings!
Goodnight my wonderful readers and fellow bloggers.

Working the numbers, AND drumroll please...

This morning I have been sitting here scribbling out the various possibilities that could occur based on a couple factors. If I started HCG today with the remaining drops from my first bottle (hopefully, my second bottle will be here at the latest on Wednesday of next week) then I would have a bit of a problem. I unfortunately, weighed in at 160 pounds this morning. So, that would mean after my gorge I would get up to around 165 pounds. I would then have to lose 30 pounds not 25 pounds to get to 135 pounds. A five pound weight difference doesn't seem like a lot, but in reality it is. I want to get into the mid 130's!

After much consideration, I think I will be a little more patient. I am going to make a stronger effort to lose 4-5 pounds in the next few days and start HCG after (have not really been trying one way or the other, which is good, at least I have not gone above 160). I believe I should do this, because I am not sure I will have the endurance to lose that extra 5 pounds from 25 to 30 pounds. And, who is to say it would only take 30 days to lose 30 pounds, because weight loss does slow as you progress further into the round. I, also know towards the end of my first round I was fading fast, and the 3 days after discontinuing HCG seemed like an eternity. :) Anyway, at least I know myself, so I better give myself every advantage and put in the time early.

I know you all wanted to hear all my inner discussions. Sorry and thanks for listening. :)

Oh, and you know those before and after pictures I have been promising forever and just have been reluctant to share, well here they are. This is where the drumroll comes in. :) This is me at 180 pounds. I am now 160 pounds, hopefully soon to be back at 155-156 pounds to start my second round off right. :)
I don't have a waist, and my arms and thighs look so thick. Look at my after picture! I could not even come close to zipping this jacket up before and I have a waist and I definitely can see it in my face and arms! :)
Now for the side pose. Jeez! It is comforting to be 20 pounds away from this picture!

My disappearing tummy, bulky arms and thighs. Yay! :)

Sharing these pictures was kind of hard for me, but I think I finally needed to post them. It gives me motivation for the second round and replaces my nervousness with excitement! So thanks for patronizing me. :)

We all have our own weight loss journey and a common denominator is, and can be (for all those future HCG users) HCG. With diligence and determination we all have the capability of getting down to a healthy and desired weight! Here is to feeling fabulous, healthy and of course sexy again! :) Cheers!