Natural HCG

I am a regular natural HCG producing machine. Didn't cost a dime, oh but just you wait- it will. ;) Yep, you guys read right- I am pregnant! I am both very happy and very anxious. I am excited about the prospect of a third baby. I am excited to try and watch my weight during this pregnancy (before I would go on the basis that ignorance was bliss :)). By the way, my weight has been holding steady for the past month and a half, which I am pleased about. On the flip side, I can't help but be worried about having three and the additional work and stress of caring for another. I have a lot of worries, most which are frivolous and a year from now won't be a concern, but pregnancy is serious and bringing another baby into the world is serious. I know it will all work out and I will ultimately change my ways to be a more efficient, effective, patient and just better mother all around.

So this is the reason for my long absence. :) I miss blogging like I used to and keeping a rapport with everyone- it has just been hard as of late. I know I have so many loose ends out there- I am sorry to those of you (you know who you are) that I have put off. I would say I would try to do better, but I just don't see that happening anytime soon. So, I will just try to pop in from time to time. Maybe some belly pictures for the first time in my life! :) (Okay, probably not... I am not such a cute pregnant lady). I am about 9 weeks along and due at the end of October. So wish us luck! :) Here we go again and for the final time. I guess I better make it good.

I still enjoy reading all of your posts, and that is one thing I can try to be better about- leaving comments. :) We all love comments! :) Have a beautiful weekend to you all!

P.S. Thank you Lavenderdiva for prodding me to catch back up with you all. :) It is nice to hear when you are missed.

Cross country skiing trip about a month ago. (Didn't know I was pregnant- at least it was cross country and not downhill. :)) Can't believe there will be one more in the picture come next skiing season! :)

I am still here :)

Hello, to you all! I can't believe it has been so long since I last blogged. My apologies again. I have just not had a lot to say, because I have done so poorly maintaining as of late. I have no idea what I weigh right now- haven't weighed in 3 days and the last time I weighed I was 9 pounds over my lowest weight. :( :( However, I have been reading some blogs and lavenderdiva and helderheid you both have given me some inspiration and hope. So, I hope to get it back under control before I start another round coming up here pretty soon.

I guess I was not in such a great place when I quit HCG and I held it together for awhile and then just got really lackadaisical and lost focus. It really is terrible to gain weight back. Don't do it, if you can help it. I feel so fat it is just ridiculous. One thing I have learned is I am more aware of my body and can feel an increase of weight even before I weigh (not that I have done anything about it). I find this comforting, because before HCG I really did not have a handle on weight fluctuations and really had no sense of gain or loss in my own body. I guess it is the awareness and therefore the potential for control that comforts me. I really need to get it together and get on with achieving my goal. I can't lose sight of my goal or waiver in my resolve and confidence in my ability to reach my goal weight.

I have still been pole dancing (completely fun!) and I know when I do this upcoming round my new muscles are really going to show through nicely. Can't wait! :) It takes some strength and I am proud of my progress. I need to lose and maintain my weight for my confidence in this area, too. I have also been doing light activity here and there, but just not eating cleanly or correcting gains at all. :( I will try to update more frequently and fill you guys in as to my hopeful success getting back down to my lowest weight.

The puppy is doing great- we now just have Kinta, because the parents-in-law took Abby home with them a couple weeks ago. It is nice just having one now. :) She is a good little puppy- still working on the potty training though. It will come. :) We still have tons of snow and it feels as if spring will never come, which reminds me... this is the first spring and summer I am looking forward to in the realm of clothing. Usually, I get so anxious about the weather turning warmer, because that means no more sweaters, vests and bulky clothing to cover my body in the hopes of feeling better about myself. I am so excited and all the more reason to get a little more serious. :)

Okay, I got to run- but I am glad to drop in real quick and way to keep up the great work to you all! Until next time...

New puppy!

We got a new puppy! Actually two female puppies to be clear. One for our family and the other for my parents-in-law. We got two Australian Shepherd puppies. We named our puppy, Kinta. It is an Australian aboriginal word meaning laughter. My parents-in-law named their dog, Abby. We have both of them for the time being. I am doing the initial indoor and obedience training. They are about 3 months old and just at the stage when I can start training. I am pretty impressed with how quickly they are catching on to basic commands. Nothing like a well-trained dog! :) I am glad they are a bit older too because they can go outside and are able to run in the snow without too much struggle. They are so adorable and we are having so much fun with them!

Kinta

The first night they ducked underneath my china cabinet a little apprehensive about the transition. Kinta on right.

Playing in the backyard.

Just thought I would check in since I have been away for so long and let you all know about this little bit of news. I am doing pretty good. I am above my lowest weight by more than I want to be, however I am stable which is all I can ask for. I don't want to be just gradually increasing over time. Anyway, I will try and catch up with all of you and hope you all are doing well in losing and maintaining!

Eat until satisfied?

Eating until full or satisfied- what a novel idea! My girls know, naturally when to quit eating why do I not?! They eat their fill and then they are done. They can't, won't and don't (even if I would allow it) eat a whole bag of M&M's or cookies. They choose tomatoes, raisins or carrots over sweets most of the time (which is so wonderful- I am proud of them). Now, me on the other hand- I actually have to actively deny and prevent myself from inhaling a bag of cookies or whatever (I am having major cravings for sweet things specifically chocolate lately- don't really know why). At least I now have various incentives (like not gaining all the weight back :)) and tools to help me not fall back in these eating pitfalls and habits.

If and when does this ability to know our intake limits leave for some of us? I can't really remember when I really started having moderation problems related to food. We hardly had "bad" food in the house growing up so I didn't grow up with poor eating habits. I assume it happened around puberty? Is it hormonal? Is it stuff in our food? Is it emotional? Is it environmental? What is it? How can I help my girls not lose those bodily cues that help us with self-control in relation to eating?

Just a food related thought I have been thinking as of late and wanted to share...

Invert!

I did an invert last night!!! I did a two-handed Gemini! I was so excited, because I decided I would just give it a try and I did it!!! :):) Now I have to work up the strength and confidence to let go with one hand and then eventually both hands hanging upside down by my legs. Oh, boy! Too much fun! :) I also learned a few more spins last night and I am sure sore today, but it is a good feeling when you push your body and it responds.

I can't wait to do another round again. Have to tame my impatience. I want to get to my goal of 125 so bad!!! I know I am not ready and need another month or so to relax and maintain. I will get there though, all in good time. :) Hope everyone is doing well! I am thinking of you all!

Pole art

In addition to the usual connotations of pole dancing it can be an art form. Check out this video I just ran across and wanted to share. It is just beautiful!



Here is another one!

Vertical dance

It seems like I have been away forever! Sorry, everyone! I have been able to read posts here and there, but definitely not like I have in the past. I was getting addicted and obsessed with blogging and reading blogs. It was starting to affect other aspects of my life so I have been limiting my computer time significantly. However, I still value and appreciate the benefits I have acquired through blogging. The number one thing is the relationships I have with you all. So, I will not leave for good, just need to practice moderation. :)

Anyway, so what have I been up to? Well, various things among them a new exercise routine: Pole dancing! That's right! :) Now before you get any ideas as to a possible new profession :)... my husband got me an X-Pole for Christmas. I had heard of the new craze and was interested now that I didn't have a ton of weight to swing around anymore. :) He got it for me, and ladies let me just tell you it is AWESOME!!! I LOVE it! It exercises muscles you didn't even know you had and it is so much fun, which is more than I can say for my regular exercise machine. I like it because it provides major strength training and endurance without adding bulk to my muscles. I just get on YouTube and find lessons on how to do various spins, lifts, holds etc... I am getting most of the beginner moves down and hopefully someday I will be strong enough and confident enough to start doing inverted moves. Perhaps one day I will post a video of me doing some of these moves- maybe. ;)

Check out this link that mesmerized both my husband and me: REDKE71 She is so amazing! The video below showcases her first place win at a pole dancing competition.