Hello, HCG!

Spoonful of Sugar{Free}

2012-01-26T13:31:00.000-08:00

You read it right! A new blog!!!

Spoonful of Sugar{Free}

Hop on over and tell me what you think! Hope I can give you all little spoonfuls of sugarfree personal posts!

Love you all!

New Direction! SugarFree Protocol here I come!

2012-01-25T12:27:00.000-08:00

I am done with HCG and I am now going to become a participant under the SugarFree Protocol! I am so very excited! I talked with the woman who writes the blog (don't know if she wants her name used)... and she is AMAZING! Already, I feel as if I am in good hands. I am going to have to make a bit of an investment, but I can't do this alone anymore. I want to correct my metabolism for life and live a healthy (and slim:)) life from here on out!

I will start a new blog and let you all know the address soon! However, I would just like to take a moment and honor this blog and this journey. I do not believe in it anymore, but I am going to leave this blog up. There is a lot of good in it and a lot of just pure human story... so it remains. HCG was great for me for awhile and I believed in it with my whole heart for a long time... it just is not proving stable or long term for me. But it is okay! I am on a track now and I am ready to get rolling!

Love to you all and I feel like the positivity is creeping back in! :):) Feel like dancin'!

You all are so awesome!

2012-01-18T13:05:00.000-08:00

Seriously, I wrote that post thinking it would just sit there and I could be content knowing that it was out there and not in me, you know. But little did I expect... the friends I once was so tight and in rhythm with would show up with such encouragement!

I love you all and am so thankful to you all for reaching out to me...

I will try to be back later... I just didn't want to let this moment to pass to say thank you!

Do I even care?

2012-01-17T18:33:00.000-08:00

There comes a time in life when you could be on the verge of disaster... or perhaps greatness. I believe I am at one of those junctures (not to be dramatic- but that is how it feels to me at the moment). Anyway, the path diverges into two paths, or so I think. What really lies before me is a dizzyingly, confusing array of infinite paths changing constantly based on present causes and actions... blah, blah, blah :)

So to get right down to the point. I think I am going to start anew. A new blog. A new focus. This will be based on what determination I make now. I need to do something NOW to make a change in myself and in my life... for those around me who depend on me and love me. I also need to make some sort of change for myself. No one likes feeling down, stagnant, trapped or hopeless.

However, as I write these words they somehow ring empty, hollow. I have a tinge of feeling that I am just full of shit (for lack of better descriptors)--- that I won't do what is imperative- that I will continue to sit down- that I will fail because I failed to even try. I hate this feeling most... not really believing my own words... knowing deep down that perhaps I just really don't care.

Please let me be wrong and let me resolve to push the above feelings away and push on and forward--- get over this hump, get around this bend, get out of this rut, get out of this hole... whatever it is it has lasted far too long... and I need to get as far away from it as I can!

I just needed to send this out into the ether. I hope you all are well in whatever, wherever, and however you are... miss you all!

2011-12-26T20:51:00.000-08:00

Sending out a holiday message from long, lost me. :) I hope wherever you are, whatever you are doing in the weight loss area you are well and happy. I am up in weight, but surprisingly feeling content at the moment. I don't know what my plans are for the upcoming year, but right now I just want to be in the moment, eat some good food and enjoy loved ones.

So, from our family to yours... Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Gone tutu long :)

2011-09-19T10:36:00.000-07:00

Hey!!!

Boy, oh boy! Where do I start? I have been gone for tutu long! No I don't have a spelling problem just trying to make a play on words. :) I got this awesome tutu in the mail not long ago and seriously people nothing like a tutu to make you feel like a ballerina. This tutu is actually for my Queen of Hearts outfit for Halloween, but I just might wear it a lot- if I get up my confidence. :) LOVE it! Oh and the shoes are new too! To die for! Can't remember when I started loving things like shoes, but I do.

Anyway, the last round I was on ended in disaster and complete failure for untold reasons. Just not the greatest time to start a round and well I started again not long ago. I am doing better, but still not up to my own caliber of dedication and determination. I am going to make though. I will try to update weekly. But just wanted to check in and hope all are doing well!!!

Miss you all and remember "talk to yourself right!" We can do this!

Pity party commencing...

2011-08-04T12:29:00.000-07:00

Where is the fire in my belly? Where is my desire to excel? Where is my determination?

Who the hell knows??!!!

Everything in my life seems out of control and the one thing I can have control of (ie. my diet) I am letting slip through my grasp too. I just want to cry and don't know what to do? I keep posting little tidbits here and there to try and hide the pain of disappointment in myself and things going on in my life, but the truth is right here: this completely sucks and I am the only one who can pull myself out of it.

Okay, I better just call it good. Thanks for listening to my little pity party...

Biking in heels...

2011-08-03T13:20:00.000-07:00

I follow a couple neat blogs and these women are "Cute Commuters" in New York (see sidebar). I have a desire to become such a thing. Who knows maybe when my kids are a little older and I get a cute bike and some cute outfits. :) Do you think it would work out here in good ole' Wyoming? lol! Give 'em hell... or a show- one or the other. haha!

Advice from a tea bag...

2011-08-02T07:37:00.000-07:00

To be healthy: eat right, walk right

and talk to yourself right.

Yep, still doing horribly, but maybe I just need to talk to myself differently? After I read this little tag on the end of my tea bag I thought to myself, "Wow, I do talk to myself quite harshly... I don't talk to anyone else like this. Why do I do it to myself?"

I am not horrible for doing a terrible job on this diet. I don't know what I am, but the fact is: we all struggle. How do you pull yourself out of a funk? I need to get my head back in the game... I thought I was ready, but maybe I need to dig a little deeper and figure out what is holding me back.

Talk to yourself right. Love it!

don't you worry...

2011-07-31T13:08:00.000-07:00

I am having a VERY HARD time and I am only on Day 4 or 5 or whatever it is. Yeah, it is that bad.

But, don't you worry I am so going to do awesome today! :) I will update tomorrow, because I just can't bring myself to post about my horribleness today.

Happy HCGing or pretending at it, whatever it might be...

HCG Incognito?

2011-07-28T09:30:00.000-07:00

I feel like the HCG world is kinda of going underground or gone incognito now? I hardly see those R2P2 Day whatever posts anymore and no one really reads my blog anymore... Is this true, or not- who knows???

Well, all I can do is tell you all the truth with me. And it is true with me. I started another round of HCG 3 days ago. I only did one day of loading: gained 2 pounds and this morning woke up to a loss of 3.8 pounds. I just decided you know what... HCG worked for me and I am going to go for it again. My goal this round 135. I started out at 156.4, went up to 158.4... and now at 154.6 pounds.

Last round I did not stabilize very well because of turmoil over thinking HCG was bunk (which it is for some and probably for me now- the Sugar Free Protocol totally makes sense to me, but I guess I am just wanting to go back to what I know- call me weak). But, honestly if I follow HCG protocol I lose and maintain. So whatever, sue me- I am doing it again and we'll see what happens.

I am stepping out and revealing myself and it is a little scary... so Hello, to HCG again!

I am beautiful.

2011-07-22T20:40:00.000-07:00

Going to my high school reunion was both good and bad. The people who I thought were so much better, more deserving, more beautiful, more smart and basically more everything came into focus. It was all an illusion. High school, that is. The people who were in my crowd are amazing and beautiful... and my friends, I am included in that group! :) I have so much to be proud of and love about my life. High school made me a better and stronger person- I just didn't know it at the time. It was kind of hard to go back and drudge up some of those old insecurities and fears, but then if I didn't I would continue to ignore them and not get over them.

I am beautiful.

I am smart.

I am athletic.

I am kind.

I have absolutely beautiful children.

I have an incredible and handsome husband, who stands out and challenges me.

I love me.

I love my life.

I feel like I can now appreciate High School for what it was- a part of my life and just a very, very small part. :) I knew some incredible people who are still in my life today and the ones who were not a positive force- well, they were also part of what makes me- me today. I learned much from that awkward and frustrating struggle to maneuver through that time of life.

I am beautiful. I say these words and still they come out difficultly. I believe them and then I don't. Some days I do, and some I don't. Such a simple thing, but I think many of us who are on this weight loss journey have image issues that stem from what other people said or did to us. How do we let these people do this to our beautiful selves? Very easily, it all can tear you down and spit you out and all I hoped for was someday I would be okay. Well, I am more than okay. :)

To all of you out there who don't yet fully believe it- YOU are BEAUTIFUL! Absolutely beautiful!

Blue?

2011-07-22T09:44:00.000-07:00

This post is not weight related, but I felt the need to share it regardless. I will be back soon to make a post about my weight soon and in relation to that lovely thing called a high school reunion. :) But until then...

This post is about my second daughter's birthday party. What a fun day! Wonderful friends made it all the better. :) But, this post is about something in particular: the color blue. Well not exactly just the color blue in of itself- I will make myself clear I promise. :) Now my second little one reminds me A LOT of me: complete tomboy, strong, athletic, wants to get in and do everything, a little bit of a show off and funny. Well, once again not the point, however cute. :) The point is when I asked her what kind of cake she wanted for her birthday she promptly replied, "I want a blue cake, Mama." I said, "Well alright, I will see what I can do." I found this amazing recipe here. No butter in the cake- called for 11 egg whites and 2 ounces of food coloring!!! And this was to be the first double layer cake I attempted (with success! :)). Once again- not really the point- I swear it is coming. :)

And here it is: The point is I didn't think a second thought with my little girl's request of blue cake and therefore a blue party. Now think about it... if my son at some point in the future asks me for a pink cake I would undoubtedly have a whole array of thoughts. I shamefully admit this, because over the years I have become completely open and supportive of gays. I believe I have no right whatsoever to judge or recoil in fear because culture has manipulated us to believe certain things about certain people. This all changes eventually anyway- I mean think about Blacks, women, other nationalities... eventually TRUE justice and equality wins out. And, so through my experiences and difficulties in life I can honestly say I would accept and love with all my heart a gay child (this was not the case not so very long and I am very proud I am not bigoted in this area anymore).

But still I would struggle I mean how would I make pink "boyish?" I could make blue "girly" for my daughter, but for my son? Am I projecting my own fears and hesitations? Would it need to be "boyish" or "girly?" No one cared about a blue party for my daughter, but there would be comments about a pink party for my son, I am sure. Should I care? What if liking pink does not mean gay??? Just a social and cultural constraint?

All rhetorical questions, and all fine and non-threatening if one does not have to address them in the moment. Very interesting how we have children with these ideals and pictures in mind and you just never know when you might be faced with such contradictions to your dreams and beliefs for your children.

Now after all that here are a few pictures: We have started a tradition: I went out and spent $10 on balloons and filled her room with them so she awoke to all of them on the ceiling (the picture doesn't really show it but they were blue and purple- once again a way to make blue more "girly" I guess???).

And just because I love her curls!

The cake! It turned out beautiful and quite yummy! The stars are kind of symbolic too, my daughters run around many times singing at the top of their lungs, "I AM A SHOOTING STAR!!!" And it is the most adorable, although loud thing. :) Little shooting stars, that is what they are. :)

I told you it was BLUE!!! That is what 2 ounces of food coloring will do! :)

Hope you all are well and I will be back shortly with another post! :)

Hello, I am still here!

2011-07-04T21:11:00.000-07:00

...and Happy 4th of July!

I have been gone long and have various reasons. Ultimately, sometimes blogging can just get to the point when you really need a break. I also just needed a break from stressing about the weight and the diet. However, I have not ceased stressing... of course. :) My high school reunion is coming up on the 16th and I would love to drop another 10, but well if you are a true follower then you know my struggle between HCG and the Sugar Free Protocol. I am not sure what to do and to tell you quite frankly I am just getting to the point of realizing things will come into perspective when the time comes.

So anyway, just want to drop a note to let you all know I am still here and thanks for the concern Karyn! Hope you all are well and hope to be back with other updates...

I will leave you with a good ole' mirror picture I took this afternoon. :) Since I never got around to taking a picture once I reached the 140's. I am at 150.6 and am happy about it because I was residing firmly at 155 for a long time these past few weeks.

Got to love ourselves or love the journey of learning to love ourselves... if that makes sense. :)

Rambling chatter...

2011-06-01T20:39:00.000-07:00

So life in "maintenance" is proving difficult. I am completely freaked out about what may be going on with my body and all the "full fat cells" I have added to my body with the HCG diet. How do I fix all this?! I am still 5 pounds above lowest weight and I am not going to lie, it sucks. (This is due to my inability to gain control right now, not my diet- I have been eating a lot of crap.) I am really detesting seeing 150 something. I am so sick of the 150's, and yet I am doing nothing about it. Oh, and I am having my whole eating at night during my sleep thing again! ACK! It is almost involuntary and seemingly impossible to stop in the moment. I am in a sleep/awake kind of mode and I just eat food- typically crackers with cheese, chocolate, fruit, or nuts. It just is not fun! I don't like the feeling- the lack of control. I even hate to admit it here, but I must for honesty sake. I am so surprised I have been able to keep it only at 5 pounds gained with all this. So, I am in a constant state of, "Oh, what the hell... and omg, I have got to get back down."

And now I have this whole new turmoil of how am I going to justify paying for blood work, change midstride, convince everyone I was wrong, admit I was wrong, get my sister-in-law off of it (btw, she has reached One-derland now and she is riding a momentum streak and won't really listen- yet). I guess I am just going to have to buck up and get these tests done and get on with "fixing" my body. You can talk all you want, you gotta prove it though-that's what counts!

Am I rambling? I am most definitely rambling... well on with it... and I got the Implanon birth control device yesterday which is great, but also worrying. Everywhere you turn something has the potential to kill you or make you feel like shit (hopefully, I will be happy with it- birth control just worries me). Anyway, to top it all off I just found someone to watch our kids this weekend so we can go to my husband's reunion, which is great! (Thank you so very, very much- you know who you are! :)) But I am freaking out about that! What am I going to wear? I feel fat! On and on and on, I tell you! Fretting over all these really stupid things. I mean the weight loss, and healthy body function perhaps not, but everything else.

Oh man, then there is all this other deeper stuff, but I have rambled long enough and sometimes you just gotta know when to shut up :)... I hope you all are more sane than I am right now! :)

P.S. This post is making it sound like I am running around with my head cut off, but the fact is this is all internal. Life is good, I am just having an internal struggle with how to begin to transition into something else and fix damage. I mean I loved HCG so much and loved what it did for me, but now I am just so frustrated! Part of me is just tempted to stay the course and repeat insanity all over again, because it is what I know and it is "easy." But the other, overriding part of me says get the hell off of the HCG train... and what about all the people I got on it! I feel guilty and badly. This battle is so tiring sometimes. This battle seems pointless sometimes. Where is the white flag, and if I waved it would mercy befall me anyway? I think we all know the answer to that question. Surrender is not an option.

Amusement park

2011-05-21T07:18:00.000-07:00

Say you are visiting an amusement park. You are standing at the front gates surveying the scene, deciding which rides look like a hell of a fun time. There are crazy, ridiculous rides you know you would lose your lunch riding. There are rollercoasters, spinning, gravity defying rides, fast drops... and then you see one in the distance- a flat tracked rollercoaster. No ups, no downs, no turns, no zigs, no zags, no spins, no nothing. You think to yourself, "Who in the hell would want to ride that boring ass ride?" (Well, perhaps minus the curse words. :))

Whatever struggles we have in our life whether weight related or not are our own. We own them. We live with them. We fight, cater, deny, love, hate and hopefully learn through them. No one would choose the easy, lame boring ride. Sure we may think that would be nice sometimes, but ultimately if given the chance we would take the Death Defying Tower of Doom- or whatever anyday. So, although I am up 5 pounds (yep, I have let myself go- for the time being :)) I am not going to panic. I will not get off this ride to mill around the grounds watching people enjoying rides as I feel sorry for myself holding a funnel cake in one hand and a bat of cotton candy in the other. I am going to embrace this part of the rollercoaster and get through it and have a blast doing it! Of course, I am disappointed in myself and upset that I am back at the weight I was around Easter! But, it is what it is and I have made the certain choices to get here, and therefore have the power to retrace my tracks and get back to the 140's. Without these downs there is no possibility to experience the thrills of the highs.

Okay, I take it all back- Can I please, please have the easy ride? Make me 125 right now, and for permantely forever! I wouldn't mind a nice, easy, slow, predictable- the breeze gently blowing my hair kind of ride............

...........lol! Absolutely, just kidding! :):)

Take care my friends... enjoy the ride!

do, go and be...

2011-05-17T08:50:00.000-07:00

By just eating more to the un-HCG diet I stayed at around 149.8 for 2 days. Yesterday I was up to 151.4. This occurred because of that poisonous sugar factor. :) I ate some cookies and ice cream. So, yesterday I ate a higher-fat diet: lunch- celery with peanut butter, 3 eggs with cheese and butter; dinner- steak cooked in butter, some red potatoes baked in butter and seasoning, asparagus with hollandaise sauce. YUM, YUM, YUM!!! :) Lovin' the fat! I know that sounds insane, but everything starts working and feeling better!

This morning I showed a 1.6 pound loss. Now, I am not really trying the diet out yet. I would still need to get a glucose monitor, blood tests, take measurements (awesome results, Jen, btw!) But, just realizing that I have been feeling poorly because my body is really starving and actually needs a healthy amount of saturated fat, protein, fiber and carbs has really helped. The past 2 mornings I have woke up with energy and ready to go for the day. I don't feel so foggy or drowsy.

Also, an additional comment. After my first 3 rounds before Paine- I did feel great and felt I looked great. However, this time around I definitely feel "skinny-fat," to steal a term from Jen. :) I will take pictures soon. My midsection still is pretty flabby and fatty. And this is driving me nuts!!! I think this is also due to the fact I had just had a baby 6 months ago, but I also feel it is due to the low fat, low carb diet.

Anyway, I am sorry I haven't really been posting information. It just has been so much to take in. Change can be almost scary and even painful. By change one inevitably has to say what came before was and will always be a part of myself, but now no longer has a pedestal in my life. I don't know how to transition. I will always be so happy to have been "successful" with HCG, because it continues to lead me down the path of striving to be better. I no longer just settle or sit down. I can feel great! I can look amazing! I can wear cute clothes! I can be a disciplined person! I can run! I can do whatever I want to because I believe in myself!

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

Do, go and be a better me right now. That is what I want.

The World is Not Flat?

2011-05-14T07:01:00.000-07:00

weigh in: 149.0 lbs
loss of: 0.8 pound

Yesterday, I had had enough. I weighed in at 149.8 again and I decided enough was enough. I am done with Round 2 and although I have not made it to 145 I think I might once I get over the fact that the world is not flat. haha! :)

Wait, the world is not flat, but spherical?! Preposterous! :)

Why am I using this analogy, well it is all this woman's fault. lol! You are like my Aristotle, Jen. :) I am gradually muddling through Good For You Goodies, and trying to figure it all out.

So far I am gathering you can lose lots of weight without HCG!!! NO WAY! HCG can really be inconsequential, because of something called insulin resistance (you either are or not and therefore lose on the HCG diet or not- and the same goes for any diet). A diet higher in saturated fat can take the weight off. On this diet you can have things like butter, whipping cream, etc. Glucose is bad for losing weight. You have to get blood work and take readings of your glucose (but not sure what you do after a reading?)

... and, basically that is all I have gathered after skimming for about 30 minutes. I haven't had time yet to sit down and thoroughly take it all in. It reminds me of when I started researching HCG. Completely confusing and foreign at first and then it all starts to come in focus.

I feel like my world has been turned upside down and what I thought was my weight loss miracle perhaps doesn't need to be so difficult (in regard to diet). Anyway, what I would like to do is post as I go through the information and outline to the best of my ability this diet without HCG. I think there is a shock wave starting to reverberate throughout the HCG world. I believe we are all open minded people and therefore are open to new ways of thinking. If it makes sense and is proven, I know I am not going to sit around preaching, "No way, the Earth is most definitely flat people!" The advancement of the human race would come to a standstill if all people continued to believe the same thing over and over for generation after generation. I have never been one to stand by previous world views I once thought were infallible: ie. religion, politics, birth, circumcision, vaccinations, parenting styles... etc. And weight loss seems to be one to add to the list.

Yes, I have lost a crap load of weight on HCG, but not all have and what if you can do it in a more bearable way? And, I could do it now- no maintenance, but continue to lose! We all know we have cheated and for some reason lost weight regardless. I did this just yesterday and lost 0.8. So who knows?

Damn, I am going to have to change my title even though I love it. :) Got to be willing to let go and take on different ways of thought, because no one of us knows it all or is done learning.

I am so happy to be part of this community of weight loss and life health fanatics. :) You guys rock! You all help me to be a better me.

Happy learning!

New HCGer's on the scene

2011-05-11T09:22:00.000-07:00

HCG & Me
Life on Prescott Street
Metamorphose Me

Here are some new HCG blogs I have come across one way or another, and just thought I would share them here. Let me know if I have forgotten someone, recently? I can't keep it all straight sometimes. :) Us, HCGer's can be a wonderful support system and we are all happy to help each other out!

Happy HCGing!

Some good news all around

2011-05-11T07:49:00.000-07:00

weigh in: 149.4 lbs

Back in the 140's!

Also, in other news my sister-in-law lost 8.4 pounds from her first VLCD Day!!!!! I had never heard of such losses until a high school friend of mine started HCG and lost 9 pounds in the first VLCD Day! So neat! She has a great headstart and she will see One-derland oh so soon! :)

Hope all are well!

It is snowing here. :( No kidding. Summer will never come. lol!

Long and random post... just so you know :)

2011-05-10T09:46:00.000-07:00

weigh in: 150.8 :(

I never wanted to see the 150's again, but here it is. :( Thank you all so much for the comments as I momentarily reached the 140's, and I am sorry to disappoint with such gains. I will be back again soon, I am sure of it! :)

Yesterday I was up to 149.8, and thought it was just due to the fact I weighed on a different scale over the weekend and I ate at a restaurant on Sunday. I had white fish and ate just a little of some other sides, but I guess that did it. And, then yesterday I took a bunch of Emergen-C... 4 packets to be exact, because I felt depleted and like I could be coming down with something. I forgot about the fact that there is sugar and carbs in each packet. :(

Anyway, I just want to move on and start looking at how far I have come and how far I am willing to push further. Today is VLCD Day 35. So my average is pretty terrible, but whatever I have persisted. I am not giving up either way. I will get to 145. I have 11 more days (or rather 9, I guess- 11 minus 2 load days?) to hit a full 46 day round. And I feel resolved to get to my goal.

As of yesterday (149.8 lbs), these were my stats:

Total loss for Round 2: 22.2 pounds
Average loss of: 0.65/day

Today my average is down to 0.61 with a loss of 21.2 pounds for this round.

However, I neglected a special milestone I did pass and now have to briefly retract: 40 TOTAL POUNDS LOST SINCE JANUARY 22, 2011! I will get it again! I will get to 145 to be done with 3-15's and then only one more 15 to go to reach goal (that is if I maintain, which I will :))!

Now in regard to the weekend, well it wasn't the best Mother's Day weekend in many ways and in others it was productive. I really loved getting my sister-in-law started and I hope she can follow through. I am worried, but I did all I could and now it is up to her. No one can lose the weight for us, we have to do it ourselves.

I brought her print-offs of the manuscript, blog posts, encouragement, helpful tips, maintenance how-to, grocery list, etc. (she doesn't have access to the internet). And, went through it all with her. I brought her stevia, tea, grissini breadsticks, food scale, epson salt and HCG. I went to the grocery store with her and then we proceeded to bag all the meat into days for 34+ days... so she can just get a bag out and that is what she will eat for the day. (I would like to do this for myself next time, too- I think it would be helpful.) Anyway, she needs a lot of help and someone to believe in her. Hopefully in time and great losses, she will start to believe in herself and become extremely determined to do this for herself and herself alone.

It is so hard, (even for me, as you can plainly see... I finally get to the 140's and BAM right back to 150). But we all have to struggle and even start to revel in the struggle- if that makes sense? We have to want the struggle. We have to rise to the struggle, ask for the struggle in a sense for it only makes us stronger.

Recently, I revised and added to the birth story of Paine for another blog asking all willing mothers to share their birth stories. How does this relate to right now? Well, it took me back to why I am here. Why I have to go through the process of losing weight again, and most importantly why I am glad and proud to do so. I took the following picture down a couple days after I posted the above linked post. I started getting embarrassed and thinking people would be grossed out, and I thought I looked fat. I know, completely ridiculous! I even put the "Content Warning" notice on my blog because of the following picture. I wrote the following edit while preparing this post to share with other mamas:

"I think this is the most favorite picture I have of myself and I am most definitely not even close to a size 4. :) This was taken by my wonderful doula minutes after I had Paine.

He is in my arms. I am upright, oh so happy and strong. And I can even say I feel like I look beautiful. There is no rushing around or sense of concern or panic. He is not lying all alone on a table out of my reach with strangers all around like minute old pictures of my daughters. He is safe, warm and close to the mama who carried and grew him all those past months."

It is true, this is the best picture I have and will ever have of myself. It is raw, exposed, and beautiful. I am not posing or fretting over a picture taken of me. I am in the moment of meeting my son.

My body has gone through three pregnancies and my tummy is not responding as well as I hoped, but who cares?! I mean, who really cares? I just want to take a moment and respect my choices, respect my motherhood, and most of all respect my body in all of its glory! Sometimes we are too hard on ourselves, and we forget to look at how amazing each and everyone of us are (at any weight)! It really isn't about a number on the scale, it is about setting out to do something you said you were going to do and in the process gaining immense satisfaction and a great sense of achievement and confidence.

The people on this journey all have reasons for the extra weight. I think at times I sigh too much over my reasons. I would like to transform that mournful sigh into a gratified staunchness. I am here for the long haul and I am proud of my body for growing (to maximum capacity :)) while growing the little human beings who fill my life with glee!

Oh, and PS: I am pretty short to answer a question of a new follower, thanks for following, btw: 5' 4".... so my ideal weight is anywhere between 121 and 129. My goal is 130 for the time being. Check out the "Instant Health Snapshot" widget in the sidebar. It is a quick and easy way to plug in some numbers. I am still considered "Overweight" until I hit 145. So that is my goal for this round to get to a "Normal" BMI.

Exhausted, and oh so proud!

2011-05-08T19:47:00.000-07:00

Hi, everyone! I am back from our short trip and I am just exhausted, emotionally and physically... but I made it, and...

...the reason I am so proud is regarding this morning's weigh in! I lost a total of 2.2 pounds (Friday and Saturday included) to land me at a weigh in this morning of 149.2!!!!!!

YIPEEEEEE!!!! I did it! :) :) :)

Anyway, I am way too tired to write a full post this evening, but just wanted to tell you all thank you, thank you, thank you for the kind comments on my last post! It meant so much to me to come home and read those! Thanks to you all! I will get replies to some emails in my inbox done tomorrow, check in on you all, and a post written soon.

Happy Mother's Day to all those mamas out there!!!

Fight on!

2011-05-06T06:54:00.000-07:00

weigh in: 151.4 lbs!

Why did I put an exclamation point after this number? Well, because my friends as of Tuesday morning I was back up to 156.8 lbs. Yes, I had another relapse :( and went from 153 the last time I posted to the aforementioned number. So, in 3 short full days I lost 5.4 pounds! Yes, I am not in the 140's yet, but I am still pleased. If only I would have held strong this whole time I would probably be to 140 by now, way past my goal of 145! But, it is what it is and all I can do is keep moving forward. We all struggle, and if losing weight was easy there would be no overweight people.

I am especially excited for this weekend, but I will tell you the details later. :) ( I will let you in on a little though: going to be helping a family member face-to-face get started on HCG! I have so much ready for her and I hope I am successful in my part of setting her up for her own SUCCESS!)

Also, last night my husband got me a new router so I should be back in business! However, I won't be able to post again until Monday. In closing I would also like to make a shout out to Karyn! You look AMAZING! These progress photos are so inspiring! So to us all... keep going and fight on! :)

No one said it would be easy, but no one said it would be this hard.

-Sheryl Crow song... can't remember which one

I'm still alive!

2011-05-01T09:03:00.000-07:00

weigh in: 153.6 lbs

I am so sorry guys for being gone so long. I hope you all have been well! My router crashed and we have been dealing with some stuff and haven't got it fixed yet- however this morning I thought I would try it out and sure enough it fixed itself for the time being. We'll see how long it lasts. :)

I am hanging in there. Man, this round is kicking my butt. (and not in a good way... :)) I got down to 153 yesterday (pretty good for being at 158.6 just this past Tuesday) with a 2 pound loss and then ate cheese and walnuts yesterday to land me at a gain for today. I am not going to post the day I am on or the weight loss, because ultimately it doesn't matter (and it is slightly depressing)- I have to get to 145 or close. I don't know how much longer I can hold on though. :( I am putting so much pressure on myself because of those stupid, ridiculous high school reunions coming up in a month or so. So, I really don't have room to get on maintenance and then start another round before all these occasions. But, maybe I need to take a look at the calendar again and see what I can or should do??? Who knows? I need to get this figured out soon and proceed with the plan.

Anyway, I am pushing on the best I can. Thanks so much for all the comments, by the way! Thanks for the concern and care, also!!! You all mean so much to me! Thanks again! I will try to catch up with you all soon, too...

Here is to seeing 149 sometime this week!!!

The night is always darkest before the dawn...

2011-04-27T06:57:00.000-07:00

weigh in: 157.0 lbs
loss of: 1.6 pounds

Heading back down in the right direction. This is going to take great will power I can already tell that. I am so done, and yet I am not done at all. I don't know why I have such a problem picking myself up sometimes?

I feel as though, I am running a race in which I lost my way that took me on a major detour. Now my muscles are so tired with how far I have yet to go, it is now going to be all heart pushing me on. I know it sounds cheesy, but I am going to crawl and claw, whatever I have to do to make my way to that finish line.

We can do this! I have been here before and know I can get through again. Quitting is only an option when absolutely necessary, but just because it is a little hard right now is not an excuse for me.

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up.

The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.
-Thomas A. Edison

win some, lose some

2011-04-26T09:38:00.000-07:00

weigh in: 158.6 lbs.
gain of: 2.6 pounds
total gain of: 3.6 pounds

Well, that didn't go so well. Somehow this morning when I stepped on the scale I was hoping all would be magically forgiven and the scale god's would look on me with pity and give me a loss. Wishful thinking, and completely delusional. lol! :)

I am pretty sure my need for a break is over and I am done. Sometimes for me I need to see such an increase to get it through my thick skull, if that makes sense? We are on this road alone and can only do this for ourselves and ourselves alone. How we do this thing is up to us, and don't let anyone tell you you are failing because of a waver in the wrong direction. This diet is insanely difficult- anyone tries to tell you differently you can tell them to go fly a kite. :) If you have the guts to stick to such a strict diet the pay off is incredible! But it is most certainly not magic or easy and we have to work just as hard as anyone else in this battle against the bulge. All I can say is I am not giving up! Yes, I was beaten this morning and wish I could rewind to yesterday morning and tell my past self to buck up and quit while you're ahead. But, even if this was possible I am almost certain I would not listen to my future self anyway.

Anyway, as the saying goes: "You win some, you lose some." And I think it is also said that in the losing rather than the winning more can be learned about oneself. Here is to getting back to it and hitting my goal: 145! 145! I can do it, I can do it!!!

Happy HCGing!

Hiatus

2011-04-25T16:40:00.000-07:00

weigh in: 156.o lbs
gain of: 1.o pound

Since I have not posted since I reached 155 you all are probably wondering what in the world is going on?! :) (...was busy and my router was down, also.) I remained at 155 until Saturday morning, the day we left for my Grandma's. I just couldn't break 155 and it was driving me nuts. So, I went to Easter with protocol meals in hand, fully knowing I would probably give in two seconds into the festivities. And, boy did this happen. There was so much yummy food I just said to myself, "Who gives a ____, and I am just going to enjoy myself and not worry about this stupid diet for awhile." (don't really think it is stupid, just trying to make my point :))

Surprisingly, this morning after not weighing yesterday morning I was at 156. I was really able to keep myself pretty composed throughout the weekend and although I ate, I ate with a sort of control that I could live with. (Oh, and I dosed only on Saturday morning and that was it during the weekend- just thought other doses would be a waste.) However, this is where Easter weekend and letting my diet go for a couple days gets a little hazy. I have been eating all day long today, Monday. Great! I got by with only a pound gain and now here I am really trying to make the damage greater. I am feeling quite sick right now and I hope it is out of my system so I can get back to my focus and goal: Get to 145 for this round!

Holidays can be a nightmare for dieters. If you made it out unscathed, you should throw yourself a parade. lol! I will throw you a parade and beg you for your secrets. :)

Anyway, I hope you all had a wonderful, lovely weekend and I am glad to be back. Easter was so incredibly nice and I was so happy to spend it with my family. Have I mentioned my Grandma is wonderful? lol! Well, she is and I wish I could see her everyday.

...I will be back tomorrow morning with the results of my unfortunate prolonged hiatus.

Oh, and just want to acknowledge my 100 FOLLOWERS!!! Thank you all so much! I never thought in a million years I would have 100 followers! I remember getting excited when I had 10. :) I know you really shouldn't judge the success of your blog based on number of followers, but I can't help but think that is pretty awesome. :) Thanks again, and I hope to continue and share the love also.

I feel like dancin'!

2011-04-20T06:34:00.000-07:00

P2 R2, VLCD Day 15

weigh in: 155.0 lbs
loss of: 2.0 pounds!!!

Total loss to date: 11.4 pounds! Still pretty good in 14 completed VLCD Days!
(including loading weight) 17.0 pounds!

Doing a little happy dance this morning. :) So, this time when my weight wouldn't budge it was a little more difficult to hold on, but I did it and here I am on the other side and it feels great!

Seeing 155 on the scale today made me smile. This is the weight I was when I went to my first doctor's appointment after I discovered I was pregnant with Paine. I was wondering why I was gaining and having difficulty maintaining and it all was revealed. :) I am so very happy I had the little guy, but rewind to the last time I weighed this and I was extremely anxious about the prospect of another baby. Now I can't imagine life without him!

And I will leave you with the following photo, because I am in love with it. What happiness! Happy Hump Day to you all!

AHHHhhhh!!!!!

2011-04-19T07:00:00.000-07:00

weigh in: 157.0 lbs
gain of: 0.2 pound

Okay, I have been punished enough for my cheat, right?! I am getting so frustrated and just want to move on down. I have been sitting here around 157 since FRIDAY!!!

I will never cheat again, I will never cheat again, I will never cheat again! :)

Hope you all are doing better than me!

(And in reference to post below... I just bought Wobenzym at my local health food store- I had originally bought it when my husband was experiencing tendinitis, which it also cleared up. Or, you could probably find it online too if need be.)

Wobenzym N

2011-04-18T08:15:00.000-07:00

weigh in: 156.8 lbs
NO CHANGE

Well, there you have it- I got my comeuppance. :) Got to move on and make the best out of this week!

I would also like to take a moment to describe a supplement that is saving my life! Okay, a little dramatic, but seriously I haven't discussed it yet because I wanted to make sure it was working. Friday evening I was in severe pain. My back, hips and knees were killing me. I had an awful tension headache that made me want to have my husband take me out back and put me out of my misery. ;) This was due to the fact my whole back was in knots (at age 16 I went to the chiropractor a lot to help me get through for sports- he told me I had the back of a 40 year old. Scares me to think what it is like now?)

Anyway, I could hardly hold Paine and I tried stretching, rubbing and moving to release the pain. Nothing was working. I think all of this was due to not only stress but holding Paine for long periods of time on Thursday and Friday and carrying around that damnable car seat. (I really try to not use the thing except for in the car, but carrying it is unavoidable for certain times.) I have been trying to use Yoga to help me, but the pain was so bad it hurt so much to perform simple stretches and it was pretty ineffective. I was searching through my cupboard for some Tylenol (we were out) and then I ran across this: Wobenzym N

I took some that night and have taken some all weekend. It is freakin' AMAZING! Just with one dose of 3 tablets I could sleep that Friday night. It was that bad- lying on my side hurt my hips and kept me awake. I was especially worried about my hips. They were extremely sore just to the touch as if someone bashed them with a hammer repeatedly in the same spot. This pain is almost gone. Go here to read about this stuff! It most definitely:

supports the body's natural inflammation response
increases flexibility and mobility
supports joint and tendon health
and, temporarily relief from aches, pains and muscle soreness due to everyday activity

No one is paying me to say all these wonderful things about this product- just so you know. This was really an accident and I am so very happy! Tylenol is stupid for this kind of pain and now the "old granny" in me will not suffer anymore! Yes!

Just wanted to share my jubilation of being pain free after feeling like I was going to die! :) Love you guys! Hope all are well!

Both Good and Bad.

2011-04-17T11:42:00.000-07:00

P2 R2, VLCD Day 12

weigh in: 156.8 lbs

loss of: 0.6 pound

Total loss to date: 8.6 pounds

(including load weight) 15.4 pounds

You all are going to hate me right now. I have no idea why I lost? I gave in yesterday afternoon and ate glazed pecans, cream cheese on turkey (don't judge, I was being creative :)), Graham crackers.... And, then to top it all off a small delicious pancake (I have finally started trying to cook a little differently for my family and used whole wheat and stevia in the pancakes and they were AWESOME!-- even my husband thought so, which is crazy because he is weird and not that big of a fan of pancakes. :))

And, I was just fine until about 2. I even had this amazing lunch with chicken cooked in coconut oil and apples and mushrooms (not on protocol) added to the chicken with cinnamon and basil. YUMMY! But it just started to crumble and I was just done for that day. I was bored and so I ate. I however, worked hard in the yard, did some yoga (felt wonderful, btw!) and drank some Super Dieter's Tea, took an epson salt bath and I guess that provided for a loss? I don't know. All I know is weekends can be very, very bad for a dieter of any kind. I hope I don't have any repercussions tomorrow, but if I do- well I need to take it like a woman, because it was my choice to cheat.

Anyway, I am still staring at my pictures in awe that I am so very close to being back to pre-baby weight! I can't even believe those before pictures were me??! I mean I was out walking around like that! lol! It is surreal (and probably the reason I cheated- I do that, my mind needs a chance to catch up with my weight loss). For some reason I had it in my head I would never get back, it was too far. But here I am in real no time at all, on the verge- 10 pounds away. But this time another pregnancy is not in the works. The work I started in 2009 was interrupted and so, now is the time even though I will get back to pre-baby weight another round is in my near future. 130 is my goal. Getting closer and closer everyday.

Pictures, finally!

2011-04-16T10:36:00.000-07:00

P2 R2, VLCD Day 11

weigh in: 157.4 lbs
loss of: 0.8 pound

Total loss to date: 8.0 pounds from lowest weight achieved during R1
14.8 pounds loss including load weight for R2

So Happy I lost today! I have to admit.... like I have said in past posts: baking+HCG diet= potentially disastrous! Yesterday, I made these absolutely, delicious, scrumptious brownies.... and I ate 3. :( This round I have been abnormally resolved, but yesterday those brownies were undeniable! I could have totally ate half the pan or maybe more, but I am so glad I resisted after 3, bagged them up and took them to the people I made them for.

And, finally here are some pictures alongside my initial (just slightly mortifying :)) before pictures.

157.4 pounds- April 16, 2011 (sorry no makeup- but they were not going to get done if I waited to "doll-up" :) ... and too lazy to set up the tripod so here are some mirror shots.)

190.2 pounds- January 21, 20011

This is so awesome! I am so happy for how far I have come in 1 1/2 short rounds and one maintenance period! Yep, definitely not starving- HCG rocks!!! :)

And there you have it!

2011-04-15T05:58:00.000-07:00

P2 R2, VLCD Day 10
weigh in: 158.2 lbs
loss of: 1.2 pound

Total loss to date: (from lowest weight achieved during R1) 7.2 pounds
(from R2 starting weight) 8.2 pounds
(including R2 loading weight) 14 pounds!

...and just like that the stall has broken! So, glad this round I was able to accept the stall for what it was and have some patience (not something I typically am so great at). :) It was really neat. Last night I really experienced that release of water described in the post below. I peed all night long, seriously. lol! When your body finally decides to dump that water which replaced the fat the HCG displaced, well that is it- back to losing!

Now onto some good losses until Easter. I have a feeling it is going to be hard to stay true to protocol. :( I am so excited to go to my Grandma's for Easter, but it is going to be difficult in the area of dieting. This will be the first holiday we will have spent with any of my side of the family in 7 YEARS! Usually, we have gone to my husband's family home, because of the whole situation with my parents. (I have written about this in the past.) It is going to be great to enjoy family and children!

Happy Friday everyone!!! Hope stalls are broken and/or good losses continue for you all!

Still Stalled

2011-04-14T07:27:00.000-07:00

P2 R2, VLCD Day 9

weigh in: 159.4 lbs
gain of: 0.2 pound (Yes, I still consider a 0.2 gain after 2-3 days of no losses and or miniscule losses a stall- since I didn't commit any dietary errors. Whether this is acceptable or not, I am not sure.)

After 5 rounds of HCG I am finally "getting used" to stalls. They don't upset me like they used to or set me into a tailspin of thinking, "Oh my gosh, what have I done wrong?" I mean, I still think about possible places of faulty dieting or a chance when something touched my skin that could affect weight loss, but I don't panic anymore.

So, for those of you who are going to be new to this diet- if you can learn from us "veteran" HCGer's and not take stalls too seriously you will save yourself a lot of grief. Even though I have read the following a million times it is still easy to forget, but the science makes perfect sense:

"After the fourth or fifth day of dieting the daily loss of weight begins to decrease to one pound or somewhat less per day, and there is a smaller urinary output. Men often continue to lose regularly at that rate, but women are more irregular in spite of faultless dieting. There may be no drop at all for two or three days and then a sudden loss which reestablishes the normal average. These fluctuations are entirely due to variations in the retention and elimination of water, which are more marked in women than in men.

The weight registered by the scale is determined by two processes not necessarily synchronized under the influence of HCG. Fat is being extracted from the cells, in which it is stored in the fatty tissue. When these cells are empty and therefore serve no purpose, the body breaks down the cellular structure and absorbs it, but breaking up of useless cells, connective tissue, blood vessels, etc., may lag behind the process of fat-extraction. When this happens the body appears to replace some of the extracted fat with water which is retained for this purpose. As water is heavier than fat the scales may show no loss of weight, although sufficient fat has actually been consumed to make up for the deficit in the 500-Calorie diet. When such tissue is finally broken down, the water is liberated and there is a sudden flood of urine and a marked loss of weight. This simple interpretation of what is really an extremely complex mechanism is the one we give those patients who want to know why it is that on certain days they do not lose, though they have committed no dietary error." (Dr. Simeons' Manuscript, 24)

In addition, here is the description of "a plateau" and "apple day."

"A plateau lasts 4-6 days and frequently occurs during the second half of a full course, particularly in patients that have been doing well and whose overall average of nearly a pound per effective injection has been maintained. Those who are losing more than the average all have a plateau sooner or later. A plateau always corrects, itself, but many patients who have become accustomed to a regular daily loss get unnecessarily worried. No amount of explanation convinces them that a plateau does not mean that they are no longer responding normally to treatment.

In such cases we consider it permissible, for purely psychological reasons, to break up the plateau. This can be done in two ways. One is a so-called “apple day”. An apple-day begins at lunch and continues until just before lunch of the following day. The patients are given six large apples and are told to eat one whenever they feel the desire though six apples is the maximum allowed. During an apple-day no other food or liquids except plain water are allowed and of water they may only drink just enough to quench an uncomfortable thirst if eating an apple still leaves them thirsty. Most patients feel no need for water and are quite happy with their six apples. Needless to say, an apple-day may never be given on the day on which there is no injection. The apple-day produces a gratifying loss of weight on the following day, chiefly due to the elimination of water. This water is not regained when the patients resume their normal 500-calorie diet at lunch, and on the following days they continue to lose weight satisfactorily." (Dr. Simeons' Manuscript, 24-25)

Typically, my opinion of an apple day is that it is just that "permissable, for purely psychological reasons." I have done an apple day successfully only a couple times before. It just seems so difficult to only eat 6 apples from noon one day to noon the next. Also, a plateau is going to break when it is going to break and a 4-6 day plateau is nothing compared to how long plateaus can last losing weight the old fashioned way.

So, anyway I think I am just going to continue sticking to protocol rather than put myself through an apple day. I just feel an apple day is too risky for me- I usually end up cheating when I try this approach and that is just not worth it... Anyway, I hope this helps out those who need a little real life application in conjunction with the manuscript!

Happy HCGing!
(still haven't taken pictures... I am not sure when I will get to it- these last two days of the week are looking to be a little crazy! I will get them taken sooner than later, though! I can't wait to see the difference in photo form!)

It all evens out in the wash

2011-04-13T06:48:00.000-07:00

P2 R2, VLCD Day 8
weigh in: 159.2 lbs
loss of: 0.0

Total loss to date: (from lowest weight) 6.2 pounds in 7 completed VLCD Days- still pretty good...
(from start of R2) 7.2 pounds
(including load weight) 12.8 pounds in 9 days (including load days)

It all evens out in the wash. This is so true! Yes, I come flying out of the gates early on, but one can only lose so much in a certain amount of time. So here I am hitting a stall (I think just a natural stall and also because I have been sick) and so I like to remind myself of how much I have lost in how many days. This will break, I need to trust that even though every time a stall happens I am disappointed. :)

Anyway, I feel much better today. I did end up increasing my Vitamin C yesterday (didn't have any zinc) and it cleared up my ear, which is awesome because I can live with a stuffed up head for a little while. Those earaches are the worst, though.

Thanks for all the comments and suggestions! I haven't had the energy or time to take pictures yet, but will soon. I am still basically 160 pounds- so hopefully I can get them done today.

Hope you all are well!

Sick :(

2011-04-12T07:44:00.000-07:00

P2 R2, VLCD Day 7
weigh in: 159.2 lbs
loss of: 0.6 pound

Total loss to date: (from lowest weigh) 6.2 pounds

Oh man, I am so sick of being sick! I can't afford this right now- so much to do!!! If you all remember, I was really sick with the flu the week before I started HCG and now I have come down with a terrible head cold. My ears are being affected, too which completely sucks! It has just rushed on me so quickly. Yesterday afternoon I started not feeling so great and then this morning it is full blown. :(

Also, I was afraid my oldest daughter was falling ill to a stomach bug yesterday, but she seems to be okay. Must have been something she ate? My other two seem to have a little cold, but nothing too bad. I just hope they all stay well!

I don't know what it is- either just the time of year. There does seem to be lots of sickness going around... or, if being on HCG makes me a little more vulnerable? I have heard this, and then when your immune system is fighting a cold it can't lose as much weight.... hence the slow in weight loss today. Taking a couple doses of DayQuil to just get through doesn't help either. I am just glad it was a loss regardless. I was on a roll- hope this doesn't "rain on my parade" for too long. :)

Well, I am off- got to go lay down while the baby is taking a little snooze...
Stay well, be well and do well!

YES, I did it!!!

2011-04-11T06:27:00.000-07:00

P2 R2, VLCD Day 6
weigh in: 159.8 lbs
loss of: 2.2 pounds

Total loss to date: (from lowest weight R1) 5.6 pounds
(from starting weight R2) 6.6 pounds
(including load weight) 12.2 pounds

HALFWAY MARK!!! I have lost 30 POUNDS since JANUARY 21, 2011!!! Only 15 pounds away from my lowest weight ever!!! 2, 15's down! 2 more to go to reach initial goal of 130 pounds!

I am beyond thrilled! I didn't think I would break that elusive 160 mark for another 2 or 3 days. However, although R2 started out miserably this round is actually proving much more easier for one huge reason I can determine. My first round (fourth round or whatever you want to call it) was started after many months of being pregnant and then nursing. And, man oh man did I eat what I wanted. My body was used to LOTS of food. I have never counted calories in my life, but all I know is I ate a lot. It was really difficult to just cut that off to 500 calories a day and I struggled for 33 days during R1. Water intake was another difficulty. I drink good amounts of water usually, but not like what you have to on protocol.

So, this round not only am I used to protocol again, but I went through 5+ weeks of maintenance eating quite reasonably and healthy in comparison. I guess R2 hasn't been as much of a shock as R1.

However, I have only completed 5 days of VLCD. Anything can happen in the next 16 or so days. I feel like I can do this and I mean business! :)

Happy 1st Day of the Week! Hope this week kicks some butt and takes some names! :)

I will take my 160 pound pictures and post later... I can't believe where I was just the beginning of the year and now here I am on the downhill slope. It can get kind of slippery though, need to keep my head and take it one day and one choice at a time.

(PS- I replied to comments below again on the post not on your page... I know I said I was going to be better about it, but it is just easier- sorry guys!)

Jinxed!

2011-04-10T10:52:00.000-07:00

P2 R2, VLCD Day 5
weigh in: 162.0 lbs
loss of: 0 pounds

Darn, I completely jinxed myself! :) Self-fulfilling prophecy, perhaps? Last night I made this delicious creamy basil-sundried tomato Parmesan Chicken and Pasta Macaroni Grill recipe (wow, that's a mouthful- no pun intended :)) for my family and I just couldn't help myself. I had some of the chicken and a tiny bit of the noodles. That did it!

But, fine no big deal. Can't be perfect everyday on this diet- just have to be pretty darn close. lol!

Anyway, I would just like to take this opportunity to pass on a couple new blogs that I think worthy of a look and/or support!

The first is, For The LOVE of Me. She is new to HCG after working hard to lose lots of weight the good ol' fashioned way. She would love encouragement from us HCGer's, I am sure! Way to go, so far and keep up the great work!

The second is, Nature's Conspiracy: "Nature has a conspiracy. It conspires to feed, clothe, house and heal us and itself, despite mankind's best attempts to thwart it." Karyn you are amazing and I love this blog! You offer so much good and helpful information. Check it out, because although losing weight is wonderful, being healthy and living healthily and conscientiously can be an incredible goal too!

Happy rest of your weekend to you all!

I bet you can guess...

2011-04-09T08:23:00.000-07:00

weigh in: ???
P2 R2, VLCD Day 4
Yep, you guessed it! 162.0 lbs

loss of: 1 pound
Total loss to date: (from lowest weight) 3.4 pounds
(from R2 starting weigh) 4.4 pounds
(including load weight) 10 pounds! (wow! already hit 10 pounds lost from load weight in 6 days- that has got to be a personal record for me? Will have to check...)

I can't believe this?! So once again an even pound weight! It really has been losses of 4, 3, 2, 1. Hopefully, tomorrow doesn't register 0! Anyway, I was starting to wonder about my scale- so I had my girls step on the scale today. They both had weights with .something? So I don't know? I guess this round of HCG is wanting to make subtraction especially easy. :)

And, ladies and one guy thanks for all the comments! Karyn- I am not sure if it Anthropoligie or not? I saw the image on another blog and it wasn't labeled. But I absolutely LOVE that store, too! I am just a window shopper though, hope to change that someday. ;) And since you mentioned the store I went online to check it out. I found this swimming suit from Anthropoligie that I think is so neat! It is a vintage cut, and although I would love to wear a bikini (but not that desirable due to baby battle scars), I do love the more modest vintage cuts!

And helderheid- I think you have a fabulous idea... wouldn't it be great to all get together and go shopping too? Since we have all been supporting each other on this HCG journey together in a sense. We can always dream. :)

And, just because I am on a kick right now here is another lovely, simple dress. I think I would add turquoise jewelry and/or a yellow heel? :)

Oh, happy days of shopping!

In love...

2011-04-08T09:54:00.000-07:00

...with this outfit!. I ADORE the hat and the dress! I am starting to dream about dressing my new slender body for summer. This will be the first summer in FOR-E-VER, I will be slim. I got pregnant shortly after losing a ton of weight for the first time and so last summer was spent being pregnant. I didn't get to enjoy the much anticipated new summer garb I was so looking forward to. That summer would have been the first summer season I would have experienced at a smaller size after HCG. I am so excited for this summer, warmer weather and sun dresses!

Enjoy the sunshine!

P2 R2, VLCD Day 3, 163.0

2011-04-08T05:57:00.000-07:00

weigh in: 163.o lbs
loss of: 2.0 pounds

Total loss to date: (from lowest weight) 2.4 pounds
(from R2 starting point) 3.4 pounds
(including loading day weight) 9.0 pounds

Another big loss! 4, 3, 2... Hopefully tomorrow will bring a good loss, too- but we all know early VLCD does not last forever. :) It is strange that I have been dropping in whole numbers to date, also. 172.0, 168.0, 165.0, 163.0 Interesting. Can't wait to see what happens tomorrow! :)

I am off to read all of your blogs! Didn't get a chance yesterday- and also want to thank you ladies for the comments yesterday. Thank you so much for the support! Hope you all are well! Until tomorrow...

P2 R2, VLCD Day 2, 165.0

2011-04-07T06:13:00.000-07:00

weigh in: 165.0 lbs
loss of: 3 pounds!

Total loss to date 7 pounds in 2 VLCD days! This is nuts! I completely did not expect this loss! I weighed 4 times! All four times registered: 165.0

I decided I should become a little more technical with what is going on. I like to just put the day and call it good, but I have been thinking I am not going to count all my load weight this time. I am going to just start from my lowest weight and go from there: 165.4 lbs.

So, technically I am down 0.4 pounds from my lowest weight ever for this wave of HCG rounds after Paine.... and down 1.4 lbs from my starting point for R2.

This is going to sound insane, but I seriously am already in dislike of R2. Yesterday, was so hard even though it was only Day 2! Round 2 once again is proving difficult in the mental resolve area. I think it is because P3 and then P4 are so easy going and even enjoyable- if you are stabilized.

However, this morning with a 3 pound loss, well of course I feel better about the whole situation- for now. :) I have got to hold on for 23 days if I want to come close to my goal of 145. 20 more pounds, that is all and yet it seems so far away.

Day 4, Round 2

2011-04-06T08:18:00.001-07:00

weigh in: 168.0 lbs
loss of: 4.0 pounds

Making my way back down. I am feeling a lot better today also.

I got to run, but will try to post something later on.

Happy HCGing!

Day 3, Round 2

2011-04-05T12:21:00.000-07:00

weigh in: 172.0 lbs
gain of: 4.0 POUNDS!!!

As I stepped off the scale this morning I said, "No wonder I feel like crap!"

Load weight equals: 5.6 pounds!

This is one of the best loads I have done. I know I gained more on one of my other rounds, but I am too lazy and feel too sick to go back and look. This is the first round where one of my detox symptoms so far is nausea. :( I also have a massive headache and just feel not so great, but at least now my stomach is not packed full anymore. This morning I drank 2 liters of water with lemon in it to aid in detox, Super Dieter's Tea, coffee and I took an epson salt bath.

I had a question from a new follower. Thanks, by the way!!! I am so excited to start following your blog too, and I will get an email off to you ASAP. Anyway, what did I eat during load? basically anything I wanted and would miss in the next days. I ate a huge, completely cheesy omelet, homemade cookies, brownies, chocolate Easter candy, raisin bread with butter slathered all over, chips, enchiladas, lasagna, glazed pecans, yogurt covered raisins, licorice, bananas and blueberries (I miss these fruits a ton during VLCD), juices, milk, bacon... Oh man I am getting nauseous just typing all this. :) So just eat, eat and eat. Got to get all that abnormal fat ready for mobilization! :)

It is interesting how HCG has changed me in regard to some of these trigger foods. Long ago, before HCG I could eat a whole bag of cookies in one sitting without even really thinking about it or even consciously meaning to do so. The cookies would just be gone before I knew it and sure I would feel full, but not actually sick like I do now. Of all the listed things above about the only thing I did force all of it down was the omelet. Everything else I ate a little bit here and there and didn't finish any of the listed items until gone.

Anyway, I am off to go lay down and hope this headache subsides soon. The load weight will be a distant memory soon enough!

Take care my friends!

Day 2, Round 2

2011-04-04T06:11:00.000-07:00

weigh in: 168.0 lbs.
gain of: 1.6 pounds

Wow! I completely expected to weigh 190 pounds again this morning. I feel SOOOO fat and bloated!:) What is it about you want what you can't have? By this I mean, during loading when you "can" eat anything and everything you want- you don't want to and it can be so difficult. And then, when you are "forbidden" to eat basically all food except a select few you start desiring the ones you could barely eat in the beginning? :) Crazy!?

Seriously, I sat at the table with this insane spread and felt so sick after eating hardly anything, relatively. I am used to eating "reasonably" ie. smaller portions, relatively better food, and definitely not very much sugar and carbs. Oh man, one more day of this and then I can start the process of detoxing all this crap and fat of course! I just wish I could hold onto this feeling through VLCD. The feeling of: "I am so full and feel so gross. I never want to feel this way again!" I mean I am all itchy (dairy and sugar are evil for my skin). My skin is broken out, my body feels stiff and I feel sluggish. :( Ack! Please, remember this awfulness and when you get it in your head you just need something terrible to eat on VLCD- DON'T do it!

I am almost certain no amount of begging my brain to get a clue is going to work, but I will try to come back to this post in the future when I feel my resolve wavering.

Final load day, here I come!

Day 1, Round 2 (or, Round 5...)

2011-04-03T08:03:00.000-07:00

...depends on how you look at it. I am splitting up my HCG experience with BP (Before Paine) and AP (After Paine). 3 Rounds BP, and now I am on the 2nd Round AP. Just in case newcomers were wondering.

weigh in: 166.4 lbs
above lowest weight by 1 pound!

Yes, I know I am a pound above my lowest weight, but you know what this is the best I have ever done on maintenance! And, I am so very happy and proud of myself!

As I write this I have my first dose of Round 2 under my tongue. (I would have started yesterday, but was still feeling sick and thought I would wait one more day. Still feeling the residual affects of being really sick, but got to get going.) Let the loading begin! I have to go get some food, and it is snowing! Spring! Where are you??? Oh, right I forgot where I live. Summer only lasts 2 months out of the year here- jk, but not too far off. :)

What to eat for my "last supper," in essence? I really don't have anything specific on the list except chocolate and cookies! Those two things I know I will miss like crazy during VLCD so basically I am going to try and make myself so sick of them I won't want to see a cookie or piece of chocolate for 23 days. :)

I fully expect to gain a lot this load period and that is okay. I am scared to see 170 something again, but who cares?! It will be gone within a couple days anyway.

My goal for this round is to reach 145 pounds!!! Pre-baby body here I come! Oh man! I can't wait! However, I would absolutely love to say I will have great resolve and be able to continue long past 23 days to reach 140.... but I am not delusional either. :) I know how those final days of VLCD can be, and maintaining focus and determination can be quite difficult for me.

So, here is to a great second round! And, wishing you all well too!
Until tomorrow! Happy force feeding. :) (non-HCGer's must think us nuts, but it works!)

I have gained a ton!

2011-04-01T07:06:00.001-07:00

weigh in: 174.0 pounds!!!

Yep, I have gained 9 pounds since I have last posted!!! How is that possible?! Well, perhaps some of you were thinking in regard to the last post- well don't eat Oreos, idiot! :) That could explain a lot.

NO! Hahaha! Gottcha! Happy April Fools' Day!

The real weigh in: 166.0 pounds
0.6 above lowest weight... I have been sick with the flu, but this morning woke and felt better- so happy! I have also gone a little widget happy on my other blog. I can't wait to get some time to revamp this blog. There are some really great tools out there! Fun, fun! :)

Anyway, planning on starting another round tomorrow!!!! Honestly, I am excited and not so excited about it. I will miss the flexibility and stability of P3, but welcome this phase of the process at a lower (hopefully, pre-baby) weight! So, I will be updating again frequently! Taking today to get in the mind frame.

Love you guys! Hope you all are well!

Oreos

2011-03-27T07:17:00.000-07:00

weigh in: 165.6 lbs

YES! I have no idea why the drop in weight. I didn't especially eat to lose yesterday and even had some Oreos for the first time in forever! They just didn't taste the same, but you know when you eat something because you are bored, and it is there and you just do it. However, I didn't inhale ten or more. I had control and ate reasonably- if eating Oreos can be reasonable in any way. :)

Hope you all have a wonderful rest of your weekend! Until next time!

Practice some patience

2011-03-26T13:12:00.000-07:00

All week long my weight stayed so stable even while adding a cookie on occasion, half a flatbread to a sandwich and some delicious chocolate. I stayed within a pound range of 165.8 and 166.8 pounds. However, this morning I weighed in at 168.0 pounds. And then it dawned on me... that good ol' time of month. So I am not too worried about it and am going to try and not stress about the gain. And so begins my 5th week of maintenance. How time flies!

I have now altered my plan and I am going to practice some patience in this area of my life. I am going to start my 2nd round next Saturday.

I would also like to write about a little observation. I have noticed that wonderful effect from HCG during maintenance. For instance, one night we ordered pizza for our visitors and ourselves (not in the mood to cook) and I ate the toppings of 2 slices and felt full and quit eating. Typically, I would eat 2-3 whole pieces and still feel hungry. I love that feeling and trigger: "I am full. I don't need or want to eat anymore." So nice! I did not gain from that dinner and even lost a bit.

Anyway, hope all are well and I am off to catch up on your blogs. Thank you so very much again for the input and readership on our new business blog! Oh, and thank you to the new followers of this blog! I love it!

Thank you, thank you!!!

2011-03-24T21:03:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to drop in real quick to say: Thank you so very much Karyn and Clarity!!! I so appreciate your comments and being the first two to follow our blog! :) Sometimes those first people are all it takes!!!

So although I don't have time right at the moment to personally give the thanks you deserve (have had company all week long) just want you to know I am so grateful!

Hope you all are well! I will be back to update this weekend.

Take care.

Love,
me

Update and business website

2011-03-22T09:20:00.000-07:00

weigh in: 166.2 pounds
0.8 above lowest weight

Pretty darn good! I have been so pleased with maintenance this round. It just goes to show with a little extra research and effort success is sure to follow!

Other than that I have just been busy on our business website and would like to solicit your thoughts once again: Are you a raVing fan yet?

I just wrote a post about the persistent beetle kill in our neck of the woods:

Are you a raVing fan yet?: The loss of a tree: "I had been in denial. Last summer and fall I watched with anxiousness as our beloved evergreen started showing signs of beetle infestation..."

So, I know it is a lot to ask, but please, please help me out here and let me know your honest opinion and/or comment/follow. I would desire nothing less than complete honesty! I really need help on this and like I said I am feeling a little nervous about it and would love to have your support and constructive criticism! I promise I won't dwell on this subject for long on this blog. :) Thank you so much!

Shameless self-promotion :)

2011-03-19T13:34:00.000-07:00

Hi, guys! I am stealing a line from my friend to describe this post: Shameless self-promotion. :)

So here it is: I have been working on setting up a blog for our business, Raving Real Estate. If you wouldn't mind, check it out here, and let me know what you think! I know it doesn't have anything to with weight loss, but just thought I would start spreading it around to everybody and anybody. :) It is not only specific to our area, but hopefully will be helpful to many in regard to Real Estate in general. In all honesty, I am pretty nervous about this venture. As you all know, I have just blogged for my own amusement and staying connected and supported to others trying to lose weight. I guess the pressure of writing coherently, precisely and carefully is a little scary. I just really have written what it was I wanted to write in really any form I desired and now I have to be a little more cautious and professional.

So, I need to step it up a bit. I need to start figuring out all the ins and outs of blogging and start getting serious! :) I would love to figure out how to get a crazy following like Jack Sh*t or Bitchcakes or Prior Fat Girl, etc. You guys are awesome and I guess you got to be pretty interesting to start off, right?! :) So anyway, I would so appreciate your input first and foremost and if you want to follow, subscribe or share- that would, of course be wonderful too! :)

Thank you all so very, very much! You all are an incredible network of people and I respect and appreciate you all!!!

PS- I have replied to several of your comments on the post you commented on and have realized I probably should have gone to your blog and commented. :) Can't expect people to come back and check if I replied or not. :) So I will try to be better about that... Thanks again!

Get your green on!

2011-03-17T10:23:00.000-07:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day from me and my little brood. :)

A simple thank you would be nice...

2011-03-17T08:48:00.000-07:00

weigh in: You guessed it! 167.4 pounds :)

This is so nice, because what I have not posted is that I have had M&M's, a little ice cream last night, half of a pancake a day ago, apple juice and some yogurt (at the beginning of P3 dairy was giving me trouble). I am so pleased with maintenance this time around. I can do this! Thinking about starting round 2 next week. We will see...

Anyway, I would like to discuss the art of thankfulness. So, I have posted my success on Facebook for all my "good" friends to see and without fail a couple girls will ask me to give them further information. I gladly do this, because I get really excited about sharing HCG and like to be the one to introduce it as- "Even though it worked for me, be aware that it may not work for you. It is not easy! You really should get a doctor's okay (how many people really heed that advice- I mean I didn't). It is not an easy fix, regardless of looking that way. Read Dr. Simeons' Manuscript and then I will help you from there." Sometimes I even give the person a link to my blog, which takes a lot of guts sometimes because I am pretty transparent here- and most people don't even have the decency of saying anything. I have quit doing this, because I have found it is far too generous and not appreciated anyway.

That is how I started out and therefore believe it is wise to not just jump headlong into something that you could very easily screw up. Anyway, some read it and research and go for it and these people have immense success... others don't read it and do one of two things: do it anyway (very, very bad!), or dismiss it and go on with their lives (perfectly acceptable). Some are successful, some find it not to their liking and others fail miserably and wonder why?! Really pisses me off, if you couldn't tell. :) These people are usually just looking for something that will take the fat off fast (a vain venture). These people do not think about the fact of however you choose to lose weight it requires a lifelong commitment and lifestyle change.

Okay, what happens after I give the information is not really my point. My point is, "thank you" seems to be out of fashion. I mean whatever a person does with the information is their business, but a simple "thank you" for your time and all the links and experience pointers seems to evade people. What is up with that?! That is why I quote "good" friends, because I am sorry over half the people listed as your "friends" on Facebook are really not your friend. Stupid Facebook! Okay, I really don't mean that, but you get my point.

Just yesterday I asked Jack Sh*t about tabs at the top of a blog and am very grateful for his time and effort on helping an aliterate person such as myself. :) Thank you again! So, start looking for a blog face lift in the near future! :) Here is the link he gave me just in case anyone else is interested: Blogger Buzz

I am gradually learning- it is only taking a couple years. lol!

Anyway, just a little annoyed with people who don't feel the need to thank a person. I am not asking for a handwritten, fancy thank you note... just a reply of thanks, I got the information and appreciate your time.

I am sure I will continue to respond to "these" people, because I just can't be rude myself. Just want those of you who have cared enough to say a little thank you- that I am thankful to hear these two little words and so happy HCG has been able to help some of you!

Take care!

A picture is worth a thousand words

2011-03-16T10:01:00.000-07:00

Thank you for the comments on my picture below. I took that picture yesterday to depict one of the flower clips we made and was pleasantly surprised. I really love that picture of me. A picture that happens to reveal something different about oneself can't help but make one feel good. I love the fact that I am not wearing brown, black or white (my go-to colors when I am heavier). I also love that it is a little more artistic than some of my others. :)

As I get closer and closer to my goal I start looking completely different in pictures and it is more about the confidence that inevitably blooms with weight loss. I see it all the time whether you have 15 pounds or 200+ to lose. I think that is why I love before, during and after photos of not only myself, but of all who make this journey. It is simply wonderful to see a different kind of smile on someone's face. A smile of achievement! After all, as we all know weight loss is not simply a vain venture. It is a growth period to reveal the beautiful self you want to portray to the world. A time to learn about yourself, accept your flaws, change the flaws you can and a chance to uncover the many reasons why to love yourself. We are imperfect beings and in that imperfection, it is said lies true beauty.

So now onto weigh in: 167.4 pounds again

Either one of two things is going on here: One, I am stabilizing 2 pounds above my lowest weight, which is awesome because at least it is stable... and only 2 pounds above which I can live with. Or, two my scale is broken. I will take the first option. :)

We'll see what happens tomorrow. I am so excited to start another round, because in just one more short round I will be back to pre-baby body! ...barring any unforeseen obstacles.

Valete!

(I took Latin in college. Yes, yes you all can join my husband in jeers about taking such a course. lol! "Who takes Latin- a dead language?!" But I loved it, even though I hardly remember anything, which is the case with the French I took in High School. Once again taking a language that would actually be useful like Spanish never crossed my mind. :) Languages are not my forte... okay on to the point: "Valete" is a typical closing many Romans would use which means: "be well." Just thought it fitting and I haven't thought about it in a long while. So Valete!

2011-03-15T16:32:00.000-07:00

...be sure to wear some flowers in your hair. (even if you are not going to San Francisco :))

A time to seek out beauty.

2011-03-15T12:23:00.000-07:00

I didn't weigh this morning. Yesterday I weighed: 167.4- exactly 2 pounds above lowest weight again. I am just doing a "clean eat" day and see what happens tomorrow. This morning I just didn't want to get on the scale and so I didn't. I guess sometimes I just need a break from the scale and thinking about the number that registers in the morning all day long. :)

Enjoying a little Spring Break right now and hopefully we can get out of town for a couple days towards the end of the week. Trying to get some organizing accomplished and other fun activities around home with the kids. We made some flower clips to go in their hair among other little projects. I will have to take some pictures and post them later. I love having girls! Too fun! :)

I also decided I am going to make the most out of these days before spring firmly arrives. A time to seek out beauty. I have resolved to take a shower each day :), put one of those flower clips in my own hair, use pretty spring napkins at tea parties with the girls, and burn scented candles. I found these lovely lilac candles that actually smell like lilacs! (I LOVE lilacs!) Usually the man-made scent is so overpowering and nothing like the real thing it is not worth it, but this simple little find made me so happy.

On a final note, Paine has started "rolling." Well, he was rolling and then he quit for the time being. :) Kids are interesting little creatures. lol! Love that little guy!

Spring is coming! Until next time...

Running along...

2011-03-11T05:56:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 166.0 lbs
loss of: 1.4 pounds from chicken day...

I probably would have had better results if I had not eaten blueberries, kiwis, two of those tempting Atkins bars and a little bit of Dorothy Lynch dressing on some of the white chicken in the afternoon (man, I LOVE that stuff!!!). So all things considering not too shabby. The chicken was SOOO good too! Roasted the chicken in a combination of halved lemons and garlic with chicken broth. Yummy!

Hope you all are well and now I am off to try and get this house back in order. I tell you, it is a never-ending battle and I am at my wits end. Or, perhaps I really just have cabin fever. I just want to go somewhere without sick kids and things to worry about and run in the mountains (better bring my snowshoes :)). I can always dream for now...

The Riddle Song

2011-03-10T06:30:00.000-08:00

My daughter has been singing this song she learned from her Music Together program at school and I have just fallen in love with it. Here is a little background on The Riddle Song. The youtube version I found is a little too slow for my taste, but it is such an interesting song in my opinion, and kids love it!

I have learned the old folk song and now sing it incessantly to the baby and of course the girls. When I get on a kick I sure get on a kick. :)

Anyway, I am doing pretty well- well now I am. I about had a heart attack yesterday morning. The reading on the scale was 169.8 (the highest weight I have had so far during P3)!!! I didn't do a correction day and ended up gaining 2.4 more pounds in one day to land me at that number. Yikes! Well, this morning I am back down to 167.4 lbs (2 pounds exactly above lowest weight) from a steak day yesterday and I am planning my first ever chicken day today. I will post the results tomorrow. I really need to get this whole stabilizing thing together! :)

Until tomorrow!

The good, the bad... but no ugly thankfully :)

2011-03-06T06:43:00.000-08:00

weigh in yesterday: 168.0 lbs
weigh in: 165.4 lbs
loss of: 2.6 pounds

The Good: Steak day success which got me to my lowest weight!!! I was worried from yesterday, but I guess a correction day is all it took. Today I am going to try and eat as well as I can and see what happens tomorrow. Hopefully, some stabilizing will start occurring since TOM is done and I am into my second week of P3!

The Bad: All my kiddos are sick and it has not been fun since early last week. I was trying to hold it together before, but now it is starting to take its toll. My oldest was hit first (strep throat- now on the mend with the help of antibiotics), now my second (on the weekend of course, so we are trying to get her through so we don't have to pay an arm and a leg at the ER- man that place rings my chimes! Is it really necessary to charge insane amounts to have a person wait forever and then be seen by a doctor for a sum total of 5-10 min. if you're lucky and then rush you off with a prescription in hand???) and now the baby is coughing and such and I really, really hope he stays okay and nothing serious happens. It is one thing when your older children are ill, but a baby being sick scares me. They can't talk and it doesn't take much and before you know it they need serious help. I hate when my babies are sick!!! My husband came down with a bug too :( (doing better now), and about the only good thing (*knock on wood*) is that I haven't had to deal with a houseful of sick people while being sick myself. Let's hope it stays that way!

Anyway, so good and bad news... hopefully by this time next week everyone will be back to well and happy. :)

Un-follow

2011-03-04T07:21:00.000-08:00

Thank you all for the wonderful comments on my rant! Seattle Runner Girl- I don't comment near as much as I should, but your blog is wonderful and just want to thank you again! Thanks to all the rest of you lovely ladies, too! The "proof is in the pudding" for us all! :) I am, also glad I didn't offend anyone that I know of either (well, I guess I did someone- had a follower jump ship after that post. I guess that has happened before when I voice my opinion about other contentious subjects... birth, circumcision etc.)

I think it is a funny thing. I read many posts (weight related and not weight related) that I don't necessarily agree with or even some that make my blood boil on occasion. But my reaction is not to run over and hit the "un-follow" button (sure I "un-follow" some blogs if they become terribly boring, don't post anymore, or of course are removed). Isn't that part of the reason we read and write blogs? To challenge ourselves, our beliefs, our ideas about the world? To put a real life human experience out there for our other fellow human beings to read, support and discuss? I love those posts that get me to thinking or those which elicit great emotion. I either, comment respectfully or just shut up and let it simmer. Sometimes a post may change my mind about something or it may further reinforce my belief about a topic.

Blogs are an interesting medium. You have to judge if the author is someone you respect (whether they believe what you believe or not on a multitude of subjects), someone who isn't just there to run at the mouth, and if that someone has something to say that may be informational, inspirational, amusing or whatever else you may be seeking at the time. Blog reading is to a certain extent real time. You go to a blog to read about emotion a lot of the time (at least I do). A person writes with some sort of emotion and then clicks the publish button and BAM there it is for anybody and everybody to read. It is not edited, reviewed, hashed about for resale and then ultimately deemed acceptable for audiences and put on shelves. It is just there. Sitting and waiting for a passerby who you hope may sit down and read your ramblings for awhile.

What is my point? I don't know. Perhaps I am just filling up the airwaves. :) (writing to hear myself talk... sorry- I admit sometimes I write one of those posts). But that is the beauty. Who cares what it is, you can write it and people can read it if they so choose.

Anyway, that is that and now I would just like to make an update on the scale. So yesterday I was back up to 168.0? Not sure why, and then this morning I found out why... hormonal. Yesterday, I just thought I ate way too much (not really bad food at all, just a lot of nuts, cheese, Atkins bars- those are so good and yet I ate 3... okay fine I really ate 4 yesterday. :) Yikes! etc...) and that was the reason I just wanted to crawl up in the fetal position. Well, it was hormonal (hence the reason I felt the reason to down 4 of those bars) and yet I am down to 167.0 this morning. Glad I stayed away from dairy and carbs, though or it could have been the other way. Still 1.6 above lowest weight, but I was shocked. I thought for sure I would be back up to 190 this morning. lol!

I can't believe just this past January I was 190 pounds! Yes, I still have a long way to go, but wow that is awesome!!! :) In less than 2 months (the rest of this month for maintenance and then another 23 + days I will be back to, near or below my lowest weight achieved last time!!! Can't wait to look like the after picture in the sidebar again! :)

I am thinking I will have to do another 2 rounds to get to 130 pounds, and then I will just maintain all the rest of this year and then perhaps next spring I will go for 120 or who knows 115!!! I can't even remember the last time I was 130, let alone 115?! We'll see!

Too exciting, that is all I know! :)
Happy HCGing and happy whatever else it is that you do to lose that weight!

Success! and of course, a rant...:)

2011-03-02T09:37:00.000-08:00

weight yesterday morning (forgot to post it yesterday): 168.8 lbs
weigh in: 166.4 lbs
loss of: 2.4 pounds

1 pound above lowest weight! Yay! Egg Day was a success and it wasn't altogether difficult at all! :)

Okay, now on to the real business of finally writing this post. Thank you Seattle Runner Girl for the comment to finally get me to post the following (I also, want to be clear... I took no offense and really appreciate your comment). I sincerely, was excited to have more of a confrontational comment, because I know there may be some followers out there who read my blog and really think HCG is a load of crap... but won't say anything (which I appreciate in some regards, but I also do want people to feel free to voice their opinions). So, this post is going to highlight some of the arguments I believe in as a defense for not only the HCG diet in general, but also specifically homeopathic HCG.

I was wondering if the segment you watched was hosted by Dr. Oz? I watched it not too long ago and was both annoyed and surprised. I was not only annoyed, obviously with the good ol' dietitian and doctor who ardently bashed HCG without really any basis, but also I was annoyed with some of the HCG advocates. They made it sound easy and simple, and furthermore they made none of the really great arguments against the experts freaking out about 500 CALORIES. For those of you who actually have put in the time and effort you know the HCG diet takes extreme discipline and dedication. HCG is not a miracle and it is most definitely not for everyone-not only for various medical reasons, but also it just merely may not be a fit. Just want to be clear that I am not one of those "it is my way or the highway" people. I put extreme value on the eat less (or better) and exercise more premises of weight loss.

I would like to point out the arguments that should have been brought up in defense of HCG.

You CANNOT lose weight safely and effectively by merely eating 500 calories a day. If you were to do this you would look like a Survivor contestant by the end. Skin would hang off your body and you would look like you were starving, which those people on Survivor are! Now I have posted and posted pictures of myself before, during and after and in NO WAY do I look like I am starving. Read the following explanation:

"In the human body we can distinguish three kinds of fat. The first is the structural fat which fills the gaps between various organs, a sort of packing material. Structural fat also performs such important functions as bedding the kidneys in soft elastic tissue, protecting the coronary arteries and keeping the skin smooth and taut. It also provides the springy cushion of hard fat under the bones of the feet, without which we would be unable to walk. The second type of fat is a normal reserve of fuel upon which the body can freely draw when the nutritional income from the intestinal tract is insufficient to meet the demand. Such normal reserves are localized all over the body. Fat is a substance which packs the highest caloric value into the smallest space so that normal reserves of fuel for muscular activity and the maintenance of body temperature can be most economically stored in this form. Both these types of fat, structural and reserve, are normal, and even if the body stocks them to capacity this can never be called obesity.

But there is a third type of fat which is entirely abnormal. It is the accumulation of such fat, and of such fat only, from which the overweight patient suffers. This abnormal fat is also a potential reserve of fuel, but unlike the normal reserves it is not available to the body in a nutritional emergency. It is, so to speak, locked away in a fixed deposit and is not kept in a current account, as are the normal reserves. When an obese patient tries to reduce by starving himself, he will first lose his normal fat reserves. When these are exhausted he begins to burn up structural fat, and only as a last resort will the body yield its abnormal reserves, though by that time the patient usually feels so weak and hungry that the diet is abandoned. It is just for this reason that obese patients complain that when they diet they lose the wrong fat. They feel famished and tired and their face becomes drawn and haggard, but their belly, hips, thighs and upper arms show little improvement. The fat they have come to detest stays on and the fat they need to cover their bones gets less and less." (Dr. Simeons Manuscript, 4)

But, perhaps I should back track a little bit. Dr. Simeons was not some voodoo doctor or quack, etc... he was a well distinguished physician who studied the problem of obesity for over 40 years! I guess I get so frustrated when conventional medicine deems everything outside of Western Medicinal Science (even though this weight loss solution is not technically outside of it) as false, stupid or even go so far as to say what helps a person in this category could only possibly be a "placebo."

The work of Dr. Simeons is obviously not crazy or weird. He sincerely cared about finding the cause of obesity and fought for years to find one. I know, I for one have experienced this frustration. As a young girl I was extremely active. I played basketball, ran and jumped in track, rode horses, worked hard outdoors at our home (a small farm- I guess you could say)... I was so ridiculously physical and yet I was "chubby." I worked so hard. I ate well. I exercised to the point of exhaustion and yet I still looked nothing like I thought I should. Granted I was not fat, but I was not slim either and being in high school this drove me mad! Well, I was starting to reserve myself to the fact that this is just how it is going to be- NOT ANYMORE and I owe that all to HCG!

Anyway, I digress... here is a quotation stating the above- that Dr. Simeons scientifically, diligently and passionately attacked the problem of obesity:

"This book discusses a new interpretation of the nature of obesity, and while it does not advocate yet another fancy slimming diet it does describe a method of treatment which has grown out of theoretical considerations based on clinical observation. What I have to say is, in essence, the views distilled out of forty years of grappling with the fundamental problems of obesity, its causes, its symptoms, and its very nature. In these many years of specialized work, thousands of cases have passed through my hands and were carefully studied. Every new theory, every new method, every promising lead was considered, experimentally screened and critically evaluated as soon as it became known. But invariably the results were disappointing and lacking in uniformity. I felt that we were merely nibbling at the fringe of a great problem, as, indeed, do most serious students of overweight.

We have grown pretty sure that the tendency to accumulate abnormal fat is a very definite metabolic disorder, much as is, for instance, diabetes. Yet the localization and the nature of this disorder remained a mystery. Every new approach seemed to lead into a blind alley, and though patients were told that they are fat because they eat too much, we believed that this is neither the whole truth nor the last word in the matter. Refusing to be side-tracked by an all too facile interpretation of obesity, I have always held that overeating is the result of the disorder, not its cause, and that we can make little headway until we can build for ourselves some sort of theoretical structure with which to explain the condition. Whether such a structure represents the truth is not important at this moment. What it must do is to give us an intellectually satisfying interpretation of what is happening in the obese body. It must also be able to withstand the onslaught of all hitherto known clinical facts and furnish a hard background against which the results of treatment can be accurately assessed. " (1)

Now onto the subject of homeopathic HCG vs. injectable. I really have no idea what Dr. Simeons would think about homeopathic HCG. I would assume he would ardently express his dismay at people doing it on their own, and I actually agree with this point. It would be absolutely preferable to be observed and cared for by a practicing physician. This is not really an option for me. So, this would be my hope- that Dr. Simeons may have studied homeopathic HCG for himself and not immediately write it off and jump on the bandwagon of saying homeopathy is completely worthless and a "placebo" at best. If he would not actively study the issue if he was given the opportunity, then so be it.

I really don't care, because I know it works and there is no possible way I would survive and last 23 days + with only my mind to convince me this is working. NO WAY! Furthermore, why does homeopathic HCG register on a pregnancy test if there are only trace amounts at best? I know from experience, those tests need a lot of the hormone to test positive. I have to be at least 9 weeks pregnant to test positive.

Homeopathy is an interesting and overly downplayed "medicine," for lack of a better word. I of course, am a huge supporter of not only HCG but also homeopathy. I believe that much in HCG... and I have proven its effectiveness for me.

Here is a little funny... I think it is hilarious how Homer gets all sorts of passionate about protecting a big pile of sugar as if it is a stand against all that is wrong in the world. So, yes I can laugh at myself in regard to my love for HCG. :)

Alternative Correction Days

2011-03-01T18:11:00.000-08:00

...still getting along pretty well. However, I was up over my lowest weight by 3 lbs this morning. Oops! I really do love Phase 3, but sometimes it gets on my nerves because you really have to watch your own body and what may affect weight gain for some may not for others. So it really is a learning process. I found this site that lists some Alternative Correction Days!!! Listed are the following: High Fat Correction Day (which seems a little risky to me too many places to go wrong, in my opinion), Nut Day (which sounds a little difficult to stick to and pretty expensive- nuts are not cheap!), Chicken Day (sounds wonderful- part of the reason Steak Days are so difficult for me is refraining from eating all day long... so being able to eat on a home roasted chicken sounds yummy!), and the Egg Day. And of course, there is the Apple and Cheese Day. Love having some options! Today I am giving the Egg Day a shot. I will report in the morning. I kind of messed up in the afternoon, though... had some nuts and raisins. Afternoons are killers for me. This time of day is so difficult sometimes!

Anyway, to answer a comment left in the previous post. Homeopathic HCG is a little different than injectable form. You don't have to wait as long to start a next round, at least that is what I have learned. Feel free to correct me, if any one out there knows better! :) I am waiting 4 weeks to start my next round, which I probably should wait 6 weeks, but I just don't have the time or patience to wait. Let's hope I don't shoot myself in the foot. :)

I will be back in the morning and I am hoping I can get back down to my lowest weight soon! Hope you all are well!

Phase 3

2011-02-24T10:41:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 165.4 lbs
no change...

Since there was no change I didn't dose this morning and tonight I will be able to add a little more protein and maybe a little cottage cheese? Now... of course, if you are taking injectable form HCG you have to go 72 hours on VLCD after your last injection. I have heard you can (and have done) only 48 hours VLCD without HCG when taking homeopathic form HCG. I can't imagine going 72 hours honestly? The departing HCG (and therefore cessation of fat stores calories being consumed) is definitely felt by me after 2 days and I start getting very hungry. So, I take 48 hours on VLCD after last dose.

I am both excited and nervous. Maintenance is not easy or very tangible. I have been looking for a more comprehensive guide, but it really does vary. I really like the Maintenance link I have in my sidebar, but even that can be a little hazy. So, I will do what I usually do and must do- just keep weighing and go from there. Keep those steak, apple & cheese and egg days ready. :) My monthly is coming up on Saturday- ugggh! Just need to not get too discouraged during this first week because I will have the added TOM to contend with while trying to stabilize.

Thank you so much for all of the advice and support! I am happy with my decision. I am getting there. This summer I will be looking incredible and feeling great!!!!.... (oh, and did I mention both my husband and I have a little thing called class reunions coming up this summer! His 20th and my 10th!!! Crazy!) Just a little incentive to finish my weight loss journey to the full extent- initial goal of 130 pounds (and then possibly lower if need be???)

So without further ado- bring it on Phase 3! :)

...3

2011-02-23T10:10:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 165.4 lbs
loss of: 0.8 pounds

Oh, boy! I am so done! Well, I think I am... I didn't dose last night or this morning. I will be coming up on 24 hours of being off of HCG this evening. I am just not sure I want to go another 3 days and then another 2 on top of that??? I know by doing this I am giving up, but I have been pushing through this diet for 33 full DAYS!!! I have lost a total of 25.8 pounds!!! Almost 26 pounds in 33 days! That is an average loss of 0.8 pound a day! Pretty good...

I would love to get to 30 pounds lost, but you know... I am just feeling like I am done and the next 3 + 2 days could really just be a waste (and possibly disastrous and disappointing- trust me I know... have done this before) if I push myself unnecessarily. So, I am going to go pick up my daughter, continue to think about it and decide if I am going to dose before lunch or not. So weigh in your thoughts (I guess I still technically have until tonight to decide one way or another too).

Which ever way I decide I am going to take 4 weeks off on maintenance... an extra week in there, just because of my past experience. I don't really want to start another round too soon. I want to really get to a point where my weight is stable and then proceed. I am also starting an exercise routine, which will feel great!

Anyway, I will be back later and let you all know the verdict. :) Thanks for your support and encouragement!!!

Whoa!!!

2011-02-22T18:45:00.000-08:00

Okay- not a weight loss post, but wanted to share anyway...

My wonderful Grandmother (those of you who have followed for a long time know I absolutely adore this woman :))... anyway, she left me a message today. She told me they had a good trip and during their travels they stopped at a rest stop and picked up the following 2011 Wyoming Official Travelers Journal. She said while she was reading it to my Grandpa, who was driving they came to an interview and low and behold it was "our Caitlin!"

So, I called her up and asked what in the world she was talking about? :) Well, turns out I was chosen as a "Local Insight" interviewee for Southeastern Wyoming in the aforementioned magazine! I had completely forgotten about it, and thought I was not a pick because I didn't hear back. I had to get one! I found one at the gas station that used to have the big, green dinosaur out front (soon to be at the Chamber- not the dinosaur, but the magazine lol!... and I am sure it is at other gas stations too). Lucky for you guys it is online too! See below...

It isn't too big of a deal, but I am definitely excited! They used all of the material I wrote in the email interview, too- in my typical flowery style and all. lol! But you all wouldn't know anything about that now would you? :)

Just thought I would share and you don't have to take my word for it, but Wyoming is pretty amazing. :) (I got a little Reading Rainbow on you guys there... haha!)

2011 Wyoming Official Travelers Journal

Click on the above link and I am on page 80!

...4

2011-02-22T10:43:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 166.2 lbs
gain of: 0.4 pounds

Okay, if you find yourself starving, not feeling altogether great and craving abnormal things like plain chocolate chips out of the bag (which you indulge yourself in). Take a step back and EAT SOME PROTEIN!!!! I put down the bag, finally and boiled myself some eggs and felt a ton better and in control again. Yep- it took me this long to figure that one out. :) So, that explains the gain.

Still feeling just fine though- even though I am behind. If I don't make it to 160 I can live with it, if I try at least. :) I still have a long road ahead of stabilizing and then subsequent rounds, so I can't get too bogged down on this. The goal is at least helping me get through with something to concentrate on.

Until tomorrow...

Oh, and thanks for all the sweet comments about my little boy. :)

Laughing baby!

2011-02-21T10:45:00.000-08:00

(Paine- 3 months old)

Love it! This little guy makes me happy. Life is a-ok. Enjoy! :)

...5

2011-02-21T06:46:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 165.8 lbs
loss of: 0.0 pounds

No change! Not sure why? But oh well, that's how it goes- you lose a lot, but it evens out eventually. :) Am not too concerned. I will just keep going and do the best I can!

I am so happy how far I have come already and feel positive regardless. I have 5 days to go and I am definitely not going to let this get me down. :)

Happy start of the week- by week's end I will be done!!! (well, for at least this round ;))

...6

2011-02-20T07:19:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 165.8 lbs
loss of: 1.6 pounds!!!!!!!!

YES! I was totally freakin' happy to see this!!!! I weighed myself 3 times. Well, I usually do anyway, but this time it was out of excitement, "Oh this can't be real- let me see it again!" And, sure enough that number popped up 3 times!

I have come a long way in 30 some days! I feel better this morning- my stomach is still not feeling "normal" (and thanks Autumn Rose- I think you are right :)) and my head is stuffed up- but who cares!!! I lost 1.6 pounds! I was on track before, but now I am a little ahead. I ate cleanly, of course- drank more tea yesterday than I usually do and took a detox bath that felt wonderful! I can do this! 6 more days counting today and then I am on to maintenance and stabilizing!!!! Can't wait! Sure a lot of exclamation points in this post!

Got to ride those highs! :) Oh, and I have taken a million laughing videos of little Paine and it is so stinkin' cute I can't stand it! He just busts out with uncontrollable giggles. It is not only contagious, but I think a little therapeutic. :) Oh, I love him! I will have to share one here too, since I am sharing them everywhere else.

I am just all giddy! However, I can't let it go to my head- have to keep buckled down and do the best I can for the next 6 days. I am going to make it to my half way mark- I believe I can!
Happy HCGing!

...7

2011-02-19T10:53:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 167.4 lbs
loss of: 0.6 pounds

Truckin' along. :) Weight loss kind of decreasing in 0.2 increments? Hopefully it won't continue to be a trend. Feeling okay today- woke up with sharp pains in my abdomen. Have real no idea what it was??? It finally went away, but without a BM or anything like that... so anyway just going to keep an eye on it and see what happens.

On another topic- so far, I really like this countdown concept I decided on, because I have had urges to eat off protocol... but the thought of making every day count for this final stretch of this round keeps me straight. Only 7 more days to go! I will make it!

Have a lovely weekend everyone!

...8

2011-02-18T05:43:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 168.0 lbs
loss of: 0.8 pounds

Well, it doesn't seem like I am going to kick this cold soon. :( Not feeling so great this morning. Hopefully, weight loss won't slow too much, but we'll see!

Happy HCGing!

No Exercise??!

2011-02-17T11:21:00.000-08:00

Here is a short link outlining the reason for avoiding high impact and strenuous exercise while on the HCG diet: Why You Should Refrain from Strenuous Exercise

Explains it better than I could. :) I would also like to add:

"Can I exercise on the HCG diet?

If you already exercise and have been doing so regularly for at least 2 months prior to starting the HCG diet, you can usually continue your exercise routine as long as it doesn’t include heavy weight lifting or extreme exhaustion. Just listen to how your body reacts AND watch the scale. If your weight loss is slowing or stopping all together, we suggest stopping all exercise except walking.
If you want to start something new, you can start walking (or other low impact exercise like yoga, swimming, etc- I would add). A brisk walk each day is great for anyone. Don’t start walking 10 miles on the first day though."

-diyhcg

Thanks for the question, Kelli- definitely a good question!

...9

2011-02-17T07:44:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 168.8 lbs
loss of: 1.0 pound

I was so happy to see that pound loss because we were traveling yesterday and stopped for dinner at a restaurant. It is the first time I ate out in quite awhile. I just had them make me a grilled chicken breast and I tried to eat some plain spinach. Not the greatest, but it worked. I also, wasn't tempted in the least when before all this we stopped for fast food for my husband. I'll admit the smell at first was hard, but then I just kept talking and driving and soon forgot all about it. I think if one bit of fast food hit my mouth I might throw up anyway. That stuff is evil! :)

This morning I woke up with a sore throat and stuffy head. So, hopefully I can nip it in the bud with some Emergen-C. I love it! It has kept me from getting really sick all winter so far (and my kids- *knock on wood*).

Operation 160- Countdown from 10

2011-02-16T10:45:00.000-08:00

I like the view from sitting in the wagon much better than bouncing along behind in the dust and muck. :) (Thanks for the analogy and encouragement, Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit!). And, thanks to you all for your outstretched arms pulling me back up. I am back at 169.8 pounds this morning.

So, what exactly happened number wise, you may well be wondering? Well, this is the sad truth: I gained 2.6 pounds to land me back at 172.4 pounds. Yesterday morning I dropped a pound to 171.4 and this morning another 1.6 pounds to return me to my lowest weight thus far. I really think light activity really helps in increasing weight loss (yesterday I walked, did yoga and was just overall more active). And, on the days I really loss a lot more I was more active- albeit light activity, but activity nonetheless. I am going to try and test my theory further the next days and see what happens...

My plan of attack is as follows: The following days will be called Operation 160 (attempt to get to 160 pounds for round 1). I am going to countdown from 10 (10 days) and see where that lands me. I am not going to worry about what day I am on at this moment- just the next 10 days. I will add whatever I lose in the next 10 days to what I have lost to date and then if I am still not at 160... I will consider going a little further.

Well, that's it! That is what I have planned whether it is successful or not depends upon little ole' me. :) Wish me luck! Thanks again and I am thinking of all you too!

Happy (kinda) Valentine's Day...

2011-02-14T10:21:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: I want to apologize in advance for writing a downer post on what is supposed to be this lovely day. So, if you are riding high today don't read the following (not that I am that self-absorbed to think I can have an adverse affect on someone's day- (poor attempt at humor :())...

Some of you who follow my blog know I am for the most part typically happy and positive (at least I like to think I am). You also know I can get downright low about some things and I have crappy days, as we all do. Well, yesterday was one of those crappy days and it is oozing into this day. I don't know what it is about seeing a different number bracket on the scale that makes me throw it all away. I don't know if that was really it anyway. There are some things I can't really talk about on here and then there are just those everyday, monotonous things that eventually you just want to break free from. I am a stay-at-home mom, and I love my work and I LOVE, no I ADORE my children! However, sometimes after weeks and months of constant need, need, need- whine, whine, whine- cry, cry, cry- no sleep, no sleep and no break from the little kiddos I just want to run and scream! Instead I indulge my poor mood into food and ignore the fact that I really should just ask for help and get out of the house. So, last night I just said, "Screw it! I don't care right now! It's not fair! Why do I have to fight and struggle and claw for a healthy weight?! I am going to feel sorry for myself..."

I knew I would feel this way this morning- defeated by my own self, guilty and just blah. But, I did it anyway and I threw away my hard work and effort the past few days all just to fill my belly. And, that is all it did- filled my belly... and now for Valentine's morning I feel like a slob and an idiot (hopefully I can turn things around for the rest of the day).

Anyway, I probably should just keep my lowness to myself, but in real life and no one wants to take time to listen to a whiny baby complaining about what in the grand scheme of things is really not that big of deal. So, I chose to write this and cast it into the ether (and so please accept my apology for doing so). The truth is: SO WHAT, that I have to diet and put myself through all this to lose some pounds!

At least I am healthy! At least my family is healthy! At least we have food! At least we have a roof over our heads for the time being! At least we have love and happiness! At least I have this beautiful, wonderful family!

There is a lot worse out there that I could be dealing with right now, and I guess this makes me feel better and worse at the same time. I am not trying to beat myself up here (well I guess maybe I am). I mean I don't want to, but sometimes that is all I can do- if that makes sense.

But I can put all this aside for the moment to let you all know how grateful I am to have you "in my life." And, I also send wishes of love and joy to each and every one of you today (even within this "thumbs down" post). I also send it to myself and of course to the one I love! Love you babe!

Love yourself. Love your loved ones. Love life.

Me and my Valentine a long time ago in Jackson a long overdue time alone without our first baby- taken before I became pregnant with our second child... (just so you all know I photo shopped this picture- I was actually around the weight I am now. I photo shopped it long before I knew about HCG- I am such a vain dork!
but who cares- I love it!)

My HCG Survival kits

2011-02-13T11:04:00.000-08:00

Personal Care Survival Kit

Biolage Shampoo & Conditioner
Alba Botantica very emollient body lotion- I just started using this lotion (I put a link in an earlier post about a lotion from diyhcg.com- so would try this first), because I was desperate. I have been struggling with really, really dry hands and lips this round and I thought I would just try it. Now, I only lost 0.6 pounds yesterday (but it was worth it because I got some relief)... so not sure if this is the reason or if it was because I was having difficulty drinking enough water yesterday. Sometimes I just get sick of drinking and drinking and drinking... as you all well know. :)
Epson Salt- A must have for detox baths!
Naturally Fresh deodorant crystal
Bamboo Wear Powder- Thank you so much SuperMommySometimes! I read your post about it and decided to check it out for my own use and sure enough it will work for this diet... and it so happens I have fallen in love with it!
Organic wear mascara- for those times I do put on makeup (like I said I usually like to go natural while on protocol for the most part)... I use my usual eyeliner, eyeshadow and eyebrow pencil. Haven't noticed any affects from them.

Supplemental Survival Kit

My HCG of course!
Vanilla Creme Stevia- first round I bought flavored stevia and I am in LOVE! I want to get some other flavors too. I put it in my coffee, tea and water!
Silicae- for constipation and also hair and nails
Whey Slim Shake- it really doesn't taste all that great... but I have only tried it a couple times so far, maybe it is an acquired taste? Oh, and this could be a possible culprit for only losing 0.6 pounds, too? I don't know for sure?
Weight Off- an appetite suppressant (not really sure if I am sold).
Clinical Nutrients for Women- just an overall nutritional vitamin
Smooth Move, Super Dieter's Tea & Green Tea- got to have these!
Ultra B-12- used for energy, etc...
Stevia Dent- this is the first round I have ever used this product, too and I do like it... however, don't use it while around food (remember my red velvet, cream cheese frosting cupcake fiasco :)). Chewing gum increases saliva and the desire to eat. I like to use it when I am out and about or doing household chores, etc...

So, there you have it! Just thought I would share what I cannot live without while on protocol.

Day 24- Milestones

2011-02-13T07:58:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 169.8 lbs
loss of: 0.6 pounds

Total release to date: 20.4 pounds!!!

I am in the 160's!!! Yay!
I have lost a little over 20 pounds so far!!!
I took a picture of my actual scale reading! :) (yeah, and my feet look weird- perhaps I should try weighing in heels... haha!)

I really feel like my scale is alive (lol! :)) and if I get on it with any sort of expectations, well it is quick to dash them. So, usually I like to get on it right after I get up and I am still really too sleepy to care. So, this morning when I got my camera, turned on the lights and was prepared and conscious stepping on the scale, I was nervous: "Now that I am expecting to be 169... something- today won't be the day." Well, fortunately my scale decided to go easy on me today and showed me what I wanted to see. :)
The reading only stays visible for about 3-4 seconds and so I am glad I was quick this morning (I have a cheap scale). But whatever, it has served me well since that first day in late July of 2009.

Getting there!
Happy dieting and happy weekend!!!

Day 23- Jumping for joy!

2011-02-12T07:58:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 170.4 lbs
loss of: 1.0 pounds

Total release to date: 19.8 pounds!!! So in 22 complete days almost 20 pounds gone!

In the past four days I have lost 3.8 pounds! I love it when my body starts responding nicely towards the end. Not that I am deciding this is the end, yet- but you get my point. That middle section is pretty difficult, but once you get through that part eventually it starts evening out at some sort of pretty consistent loss.

And, to answer Karyn's question in the previous post: ...do you think that 155 with HCG looks different than 155 without (as in measurements?)

YES, Absolutely! That is why I LOVE HCG!!! HCG takes the weight off in ways I never could get it to come off in more mainstream ways of losing weight (I wrote in a post a long time ago sometime) something to the effect of: I would lose the initially in my lower legs while exercising and eating right and still have a belly and large arms... Great! That is the place where I least needed to lose. Now, if I would have stuck to some program I am sure I would have had better results, but I always ended up not following through... (that is why I think it is awesome when people do not give up and keep on going... see below).

Also, during my journey before I LOVE and still love to read other conventional weight loss blogs (highly respect these people and can learn a ton from them especially in regard to conquering lifetime maintenance!). My point is, since I was losing pure fat (and HCG proportions your body- ie. fat coming off proportionally) it seemed that my body would look starkly different from not only what I have had it ever look like, but also when in comparison to another woman's body around same height and weight- it would look smaller. At 147 pounds I was a size 6. That was never possible for me before. I would be a size 10/8 typically. Anyway, I have always commented that HCG has done more for me than merely move the scale. It gave me a waist and beautiful arms (two huge problem areas for me before HCG). Here is a short description explaining further this phenomenon (for those of you not familiar with HCG): HCG in Fast Weight Loss

At this point I really, really want to make it to at least half way- 160 pounds. I am not going to be unreasonable and say I will preserver, I am determined... and blah, blah, blah... because ultimately there is a possibility I may fizzle out (I am not going to kill myself over this). The following days are unknown territory. I have never ventured on VLCD past 23 days... so we will see what happens! Right now, though I want to ride these losses to their full extent!

She put on some jeans and makeup!

2011-02-11T17:22:00.000-08:00

...granted holey jeans, but hey you can't go spending tons of money on clothes when you're losing at this rate. :) I am kind of glad I kept some of my "big girl" clothes. :) I have had these jeans for about 5 years now. Yikes! They are still pretty tight, but I got 'em buttoned!

Anyway, I had my daughter take a picture of me before we went out to the store this afternoon (highlight of my days haha!), because it is really the first time in awhile I have made myself "presentable." (and btw, this is Wyoming people- so this is pretty dressed up... lol!) Before it was the excuses of just having a baby (and being overly chubby) and then it was how in the heck do you get out of the door with 3 kids and have showered, put on clean clothes... and don't even mention makeup. :) Lately it has been the excuse of, since I am on my diet I can't be putting on makeup all the time (even if it is protocol makeup- I kind of like to keep myself completely unfettered with such things during protocol). So today, on Day 22 when I found myself in the presence of other human beings did not a one runaway screaming in fright and disbelief. :)

Seriously, I have so far to go to be at a healthy and desirable weight, but it just feels nice to not be completely and ridiculously stuffed and overflowing in my clothes. :) Anyway just thought I would share... tomorrow is the big 23! I am not sure what I am going to do yet (because as you all know I was planning a long 46 day round). I have never done such a long round, but I am kind of thinking I would at least like to get to 165 so I can maintain (or lose *cross fingers*) from there? Anyway, we'll see what the morning brings!

Day 22- Bad English

2011-02-11T07:52:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 171.4 lbs
loss of: 1.0 pounds

Total loss to date: 18.8 pounds

Still truckin' along... And, I meant to mention yesterday I upped my water intake by 2 liters from 3 to 5 liters a day. I think that really helped jump start weight loss again? We'll see if it is just a fluke or what? :)

On other topics... so glad to hear from some of you guys yesterday! You all mean so much to me- old and new and little comments left behind from each of you brighten my day!

Oh, and I bet y'all think I am an illiterate ignoramus?! :) Last night I came out of the bathroom with a scowl on my face and I asked my husband, "Is p-a-y-e-d a word?" And, he said, "Uh, NO!" I started laughing because I already knew, "OMG, sometimes I am an idiot!" :)... so anyway what I meant as the title of my Day 21 post is "It PAID off!" LOL! English is kind of stupid. I am re-learning this more and more as I try and help my 5 year old learn our crazy ways (maybe I should resign my position :))... Yes, honey it sounds the same, but is spelled in two different ways. Or, yes you can't hear that letter, but it is there...etc. haha!

So thanks to you all for putting up with my dashes and dot, dot, dots and misspellings and use of too many prepositions to really master the art of run on thoughts and "bad" English! :)

... or rather "poor" English. lol!

Make new friends, but keep the old

2011-02-10T09:00:00.000-08:00

This is technically my 4th round. I like to call it a second 1st round, because I had a year in there of being pregnant after my first 3 rounds. Round 1 & 2 were immensely successful and got me to the after photo displayed in the sidebar. Round 3 was basically a disaster. It was around Christmas and I went into it too quickly after round 2. Each round I learn something and expand my knowledge not only about the HCG diet, but also about me and who I am. I also gain so many friends and fellow dieters. I am reminded about the Girl Scouts song, "Making New Friends." (Yes, I was a Brownie. :) Just one year, but I still remember...)

Make new friends, but keep the old
One is silver, and the other's gold.

A circle is round that never ends,
And that's how long I'm gonna be your friend.

I have been so excited to meet new friends and follow their stories as they follow mine. I have also been overwhelmed with the comments of encouragement and support! You guys rock! :) I also, think about my old friends, too and wonder how they are doing and miss them... I started to make the following list and didn't realize there were so many of us back then:

These were my first followers and I miss you both- hope you are well!

AKA Skinny Me

Kayla's Big Journey (taken down)

Hope you are well, Christy! You are awesome and I miss you!

Christy in Seattle

Loved these blogs!

Confessions of a Chocoholic

Wee Skinny

Completely miss your posts! :)

Miss Mary's This and That

Always there to uplift the spirit and give one inspiration!

Losing with HCG (Nikki)

I hope you are okay! Miss your posts... not an HCGer, but loved her story...

Confessions of a + Sized girl (taken down)

Miss you so much! Always the most encouraging and insightful comments!

hcg&meontheroadtofindout (lavenderdiva!)

A truly best friend in this journey! Miss you so much!

Hormonally Changed Gal

Other wonderful blogs...

My Journey

My HCG Story

Jazzy Jan's

Chica Bonita Gets it Together (taken down)

Metamorphosis of Melissa

Time for HCG

Still hear from these three lovely women! :) They are all wonderful inspirations and hugely successful in their weight loss journey!
Journey to Me Via HCG

Autumn's Rosier Days
Random Thoughts and HCG

I also, have the support of real life friends and bloggers who continue to lift me up and amaze me with their support. :) Love you guys!

Anyway, my point is I am so thankful for my old and new friends... I keep trying to post to alert people to a new wonderful blog and new friend to add to the circle. Blogging has really kept me honest and has given me something to focus on and provide a place to put down my successes and failures throughout this journey. I know I was MIA there for awhile and we all quit blogging for some reason or another, but just want you all to know you have not been forgotten and you are missed. :) You all got me through my initial fight to a healthy, strong me and I appreciate it more than I can express.

So, if anyone of you see this- drop in a line! Hope you all are well!

Day 21- It paid off!

2011-02-10T08:40:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 172.4 lbs
loss of: 0.8 pounds

Total loss to date: 17.8 pounds in 20 days... average of 0.89 pounds lost/day

So after 20 days complete and 18 days on VLCD- I need to keep it in perspective and pat myself on the back. :) I pushed through yesterday's disappointment and frustration, and here I am on the other side just that closer to getting out of the 170's. Keep it up, Caitlin! :)

Thinking of you all! Happy HCGing!

Day 20- Touch each line

2011-02-09T08:57:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 173.2 lbs
loss of: 0.0 pounds

Total loss to date: 17.0 pounds

What the hell?!! In 6 days I have only lost 2 pounds (since reaching my 1st 15 lost).    Dieting can suck- whether you chose HCG or any other way to get the pounds off. You push yourself and walk the line and what do you get sometimes- zilch, a big fat 0! I can't think of any reason for no loss??? I drank a crap load of water. I ate on protocol. I didn't put anything on my face, hands or anything that would halt weight loss. I drank Smooth Move last night, but nothing yet... maybe that's it? I am going to test my HCG too... My very first round of HCG I lost 24 pounds in 23 days- now there are some differences that I am not sure would make such a difference or not: 1) I am on birth control this time. 2) It is winter (summer during my first round)... and freaking cold at that (negative temps). Your body really does like to keep its insulation in the winter. 3) Bought my HCG from a different supplier this time? 4) Maybe your first time is just that, your first time and you really shouldn't compare??? Who knows?!

Regardless, I am not giving up!

I was thinking about all those years of early morning basketball practices when it would come time for good ole' conditioning. That meant among other drills "suicides" and "sweet 16's." You learned real quick you better touch each damn line or face more torture in your future. If you cheated or didn't go all the way to each line and bend down to touch each line you ended up having to do more until you got it right. So, it got to the point I reveled in doing each down and back perfect and faster and faster. I knew these were for our own good and therefore would pay off in the end. Even when I had days where my body felt like mush and my mind was even more mushier... persevering and completing the task made me just that much better. When it seems pointless and like you are spinning your wheels... things are still happening- to make you stronger.

Okay, so what the heck is my point... keep going... touch each line... push yourself!

I am going to get through this day, not making any excuses or justifications. Tomorrow morning I am going to get on the scale again and if there is still no movement downwards I am going to do it all again! I will be half way done with 46 days on Saturday. At that time I will reevaluate and move on from there. 4 more days (today, Thursday, Friday and Saturday) to reach line one. I can do it!

P.S. Thank you all so very much for the comments on the below post! You all are so wonderful! I said I wasn't going to share those pictures until I was very, very far from my before pictures... but it really does give me motivation and inspiration! And, besides I post my weight so why not pictures to go along. lol!

ONLY 15 pounds!

2011-02-08T13:20:00.000-08:00

I can't believe I am sharing these pictures?! But, I am going to... I have been contemplating sharing them, and decided I am just going to do it. I cannot believe what ONLY 15 pounds gone looks like! I love HCG! It just melts that fat away!!! The following are before and during pictures...

Photos of me in the gray shirt were taken on Day 2- January 22, 2011. I was 190.2 pounds.

Photos of me in the white/purple shirt were taken on Day 15- February 5, 2011. Only 13 days after the first set were taken. I was 175 pounds.

I am shocked (and happy :)) to see such a difference! I was pretty mortified after I took my before pictures and now I can relax a bit, because I am on my way to a more slim and healthy me!

Love-handles starting to disappear and arms not as huge :)...

Well, post baby belly I am sorry, but you have got to go!

Posture even improving!

OMG! This one really freaked me out!

Goodbye, back fat!!! You don't stand a chance!

Besides the decrease in rolls and such... I love how there seems to be a confidence in my during pictures gradually re-revealing itself- even if it is just 15 pounds away from my first pictures. Oh, and the first pictures I am in maternity clothes. ick! :( Not in the second set... granted still a long way to go, but I can't tell you how much better this makes me feel- to see PROGRESS!!!

Keep up the fight! :)

Day 19- Back in the saddle...

2011-02-08T07:09:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 173.2 lbs
loss of: 1.0 pounds

Total release to date: 17.0 pounds in 18 days! Still pretty good.

That's more like it... I will try to post later on today, but feeling good about getting "back in the saddle." You may be thrown at certain times, but you got to get back on. :) I bet you couldn't tell I miss horses. :) :) Ahhh... someday...

bucking horse

Day 18- yep, you gotta pay at some point...

2011-02-07T06:42:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 174.2 lbs
gain of: 0.6 pounds

Total loss to date: 16.0 pounds

Okay, yes I am disappointed, but I knew at some point I was going to have to deal with the consequences of cheating. You just can't cheat! :) And, no matter how many times I do this diet or read it from others... I always have to relearn and relearn that one on my own. However, yesterday I ate cleanly and had no inklings towards cheats and I am going to get out of these 170's if it is the last thing I do! :)

I still have 28 days left so I am not worried about a minor setback. I can do this! I want to do this! So all things considering, gain and all I am feeling pretty positive. Also, wanted to say thanks to Karyn and Sunny, I will try to concentrate on the successes rather than slip ups here and there- and here is to finishing strong! :)

Day 17- Runaway!

2011-02-06T09:14:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 173.6 lbs
loss of: 0.2 pounds

Total release to date: 16.6 pounds

Well, this 0.2 loss is probably not real, but at least I did not see a huge gain this morning. I slipped up yesterday. :( My daughters wanted to make these red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. I am sure you know where this is headed... I thought okay well I will just chew a couple pieces of some stevia gum through the whole baking time period and I will be fine. Baking and being on the HCG diet do not mix well for me, and I know it. I just couldn't resist "just a taste." And before I knew it I had eaten almost 3/4 of a cupcake with some extra tastes of left over frosting. :( I felt awful about myself and then felt even worse when my stomach started doing flips in protest to the shock of sugar hitting my system. Also, in the morning I was light headed and was experiencing blood sugar problems (this usually happens to me around this time). I should have corrected the problem as described here or here (thanks Less of Me! :)). But I did not. Instead I shoved a cupcake in my mouth. :(

So, to try and compensate I shoveled snow until I almost passed out (not advisable either). And, I just had an apple for dinner (I did eat on protocol for lunch), didn't take my evening dose of HCG (thought it would be wasted)... and then to make things worse I had a little bit of the corn bread I made for everyone else. :( Jeez, Louise! I just couldn't help myself and here I am today hoping severe repercussions won't be felt tomorrow. See, when I allow myself to accept the need to "take a break" I feel so much better about the situation. I am still in control, I guess is really the difference. Yesterday I was not in control of myself and I end up feeling lousy. I feel like I am on a runaway horse...

However, today is a new day and this is part of the learning process. If I didn't have to diet then I wouldn't have struggles with food (typically), but I do and therefore need to learn how to change my patterns and habits. When I took my afternoon break awhile back I could feel weakness coming on and instead of just allowing myself to continue helpless on a runaway over the cliff I took hold of the reins and decided to steer away from the ledge in favor of a more healthy and self preserving path- one that I decided.

Now we really are in this on our own and there really is not a tall, dark handsome cowboy to rescue us (see picture below), but I really liked this painting- so it will do. :) It reminds me of the stories told about my Grandpa and Grandma (my father's parents) in their courting days. He would come racing towards her as she waited outside her home, swoop down and pick her up on the run with one arm swinging her up onto the saddle with him. (I am told, she had hair the color of a brand new penny (she was extremely beautiful and was encouraged and almost begged to enter the Miss Wyoming competition in her day, but she was not a woman of that kind of world and chose to marry my Grandpa and settle down instead)... he had jet black hair with blue sparkly eyes... I miss them. :)) So romantic! ...and a fond image I have of them in my mind. So in the spirit of upcoming Valentine's Day and to really deviate from my initial point this is where I will close... :) lol! Hope you all are doing better reining-in that runaway then I am at this point in time! :)

runaway

Another HCGer on the scene...

2011-02-05T12:36:00.000-08:00

My HCG Journey

Another HCGer on the scene! Just wanted to put another link to a relativity new blog out there to check out... :) You're doing great!

Day 15 &16

2011-02-05T06:34:00.000-08:00

Day 15

weigh in: 175.0 lbs
loss of: 0.2 pounds

Today: Day 16

weigh in: 173.8 lbs
loss of: 1.2 pounds

Total loss on 2nd 15: 1.4 pounds
Total loss to date: 16.4 pounds

The day before yesterday was disappointing. I stayed on protocol, but did put a little lotion on my dry, cracked hands (I am going to order some protocol lotion from this site: HCG Diet Lotion)- and I didn't eat lunch for various reasons. This is obviously not advisable. :) But I guess today made up for it. :) I haven't decided whether to just post how much of a total loss overall or just focus on my 2nd 15 pounds that has to go? So, I posted both this morning. Both make me happy, so I guess for now I will continue to post both.

I would like to answer a comment below. Thank you so much, btw! If you haven't already check out the links in the sidebar (under "Great HCG Resources") and especially the link to Dr. Simeons' Manuscript. This is where I would advise anyone to start. Also, if your health is compromised in any way I would talk with a doctor. After you have read the document you may have more questions, but I am willing to bet many will be answered. :) Just know this diet is not easy and I just hate to see people get into it and then try to treat it like another diet (or worse yet, a miracle diet) and fall short of success. But if you understand the concept behind the diet and the paramount importance of following protocol then this diet may be just what you are looking for. :) Please feel free to ask further questions, too! I know there were some things that were not clear to me and had to seek out the answer.

Happy HCGing!

Day 14- Goodbye 1st 15!

2011-02-03T07:32:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 175.2 lbs
loss of: 1.6 pounds

Total release to date: 15.0 pounds!!!

Back on track! My 1st 15 pounds, exactly has been lost and all in 13 days. Very happy with that! Will take a picture today to mark the occasion.

Now on to the next 15!

Day 13- ready, again!

2011-02-02T07:04:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 176.8 lbs
gain of: 0.2 pounds

Total release to date: 13.4 pounds in 12 days

Thank you HCG gods! I was so happy I only gained 0.2 pounds after a little afternoon break. :) Seriously, guys every single round I think I am going to beat the odds and end up losing way more than pound a day, and every single time I am reminded that this really is not possible for me. It always evens out and I end up losing an average of a pound a day or less (on previous rounds I have not done so well and had less to lose). But, hey- why am I always surprised? A pound a day is freakin' awesome and I will take it! :)

And, you know what I am so glad I took yesterday afternoon, because I feel so ready again! I didn't allow myself to struggle or feel badly and therefore I could take a little time, regroup and now feel ready to move on. I have only had a gain of 0.6 pounds (yesterday and the day before) and that is great! Besides my cramping and bleeding have subsided and I feel my body ready... I just can't fight it and be successful. I am learning. Each and every round I learn something. :)

So, here I go back at it and ready for some losses again!

It is decided...

2011-02-01T11:45:00.000-08:00

... taking a break this afternoon. Still drinking plenty of water, but that chocolate and blueberries looked too damn good and with what is going on with my body (first period in forever- I need it! :)). Also, I have found from previous rounds if I try to deny I am having issues then they just keep getting bigger and bigger and pretty soon I gain 3-4 pounds or something... so I am just going to accept that my body needs an afternoon off and in doing so I feel so much better.

So- will check in tomorrow, hopefully not a huge gain. :)

Thanks, btw to all of you for the wonderful comments! I love and appreciate your support! I am pretty relaxed this round and it is helping me not get down on myself, which is Awesome! :)

4- 15's

2011-02-01T08:28:00.000-08:00

While I was soaking two nights ago and kind of getting bogged down on thoughts about how much I have to lose- it just kind of hit me. Break it into smaller parts...

I am almost to the 15 pound loss mark and so I started thinking about it. I really have just 4- 15's to lose (190 lbs to 130 lbs). It doesn't seem as extreme as putting it in the context of 60 POUNDS TO LOSE! So, I am going to start breaking my weight loss into 15 pound increments. I will take pictures every 15 pounds lost and just go for each 15 pounds. So, once I lose my first 15 I will put it behind me and look to the next 15 and the next. I may get close to losing 3 of the 15's this round and then once I get down to 130 lbs I can just take it easy and if I lose another 5-15, so be it!

It will look like this:

1: 190-15 = 175 lbs
2: 175-15 = 160 lbs
3: 160-15 = 155 lbs
4: 155-15 = 130 lbs

So this is what is making sense in my mind and easier for me to grasp and accept. I guess, it seems simpler and more manageable. I like that I am not hung up on increments of 10 or getting into another 10 pound bracket. I am not sure how it all will play out and if I will use this break down through my whole weight loss adventure, but I guess that is the key- don't be afraid to be flexible! :)

It is worth a shot! What do you guys do to make weight loss seem not so insurmountable?

Day 12- First gain on VLCD

2011-02-01T08:02:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 176.6 lbs
gain of: 0.4 pounds

Total loss to date: 13.6 pounds

Darn! My first gain this round and I didn't even cheat yesterday. I tried to drink extra water, too because of the extra water retention experienced during TOM. You just never know how and when your body may react and stall. I am trying to just remember that is all it is and soon enough losses will occur again.

Day 11- Difficult but satisfying

2011-01-31T10:52:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 176.2 lbs
loss of: 0.4 pounds

Total release to date: 14.0 pounds

That good ole' time-of-month returned. I was getting used to no period since I haven't had one since February of last year and since Paine was born- pregnancy and all. But here it is in all of its glory and thus the slow down in weight loss (at least a loss, though- got to look on the bright side).

Dieting can be difficult, but it can also be satisfying! This is so true! When you are in the midst of feeling like weight loss is not going as you hoped or that the task ahead seems so daunting it can be so difficult to continue pushing through. Remembering the sweet taste of success and how it feels when you conquer your urge to just say, "Screw it, who cares!" is the satisfying part that keeps me going. I love it when I get through a day that seemed it would never end (or end with me completely submerged in a bucket of ice cream :)) and come out the next morning on top of the world feeling so proud and happy for myself.

This round I am actually maintaining my resolve pretty well and I haven't had the debilitating, frustrating and seemingly uncontrollable urges I have experienced in the past. However, I have had thoughts of just jumping held long into that jar of peanut butter as I smear the delicious spread on the pieces of bread making sandwiches for my girls. Sometimes I think this would be so much easier if I could just go somewhere far away all on my own away from all the temptations and necessities of the other people in my home. But, the fact is at one point you have to return to reality and it is in the choice we make ourselves better not the denial or removal of all forbidden foods.

I also, kind of had an epiphany or rework in thought, for myself last night as I soaked in my epson salt bath that I will write about shortly. I think it will help me get through to the end of 46 days and beyond. We will see!

Hope you all are well!

Day 10- Didn't expect that!

2011-01-30T07:21:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 176.6 lbs
loss of: 2.0 pounds

Total release to date: 13.6 pounds in 9 days!!!

Wow! Like I said- didn't expect that! I took all the kiddos sledding yesterday- my husband unfortunately has a deadline to meet and couldn't come with us. So, perhaps the extra calorie burn helped? Anyway, this is great and I just hope to keep it up! :) I will leave you with some pictures from the day...

The three sledders.

Perhaps next year Paine will be up for more sledding, but for now he was content with a nap. :)

Day 9- Patience

2011-01-29T06:54:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 178.6 lbs
loss of: 1.2 pounds

Total release to date: 11.6 pounds in 8 days (day 9 not yet complete)
Average loss per day: 1.5 pounds/day

I think it is interesting how my mind works- I keep thinking I will be out of the 170's and into the 160's tomorrow. Somehow magically I will lose 10 pounds in one day. LOL! I have to remember although this is amazing weight loss it isn't instantaneous and it takes time and patience. But, oh how I already feel a ton better! My skin is clearing and not as itchy. I am starting to fit back into some things (have no idea how I fit into those size 12's awhile back???- it must have been the combination of quitting nursing while maintaining the amount of calorie intake and start of birth control? I am not sure, but I gained a ton in a short amount of time from the time I wore those jeans).

I have tried twice the following and it is not on protocol, but I have had considerable loss regardless (had it for lunch yesterday). So just know it is an alteration and deviation from strict protocol and not really advisable. I took the acceptable 1 full egg plus three egg whites and rather than poach them as directed- I scrambled them and cooked the eggs in a little coconut oil. I put in chopped onion, garlic, salt and pepper and it is so delicious! I know I probably should not, but oh my I love them! I have done it when I felt my resolve wavering and needed something different and warm. I usually do not have any grissini the day I choose to eat this and limit my fruit to a small apple with each meal.

Until tomorrow!

Day 8- "I think I can"

2011-01-28T06:05:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 179.8 lbs
loss of: 0.2 pounds

Total release to date: 10.4 pounds

Well, I hit the 170's albeit just barely, but I'll still take it. :) Stalls and even gains are inevitable. Just need to push through. I am starting to experience minor mental cravings. Still not physically hungry- it is all mental! Do I want it badly enough? Even if I do, can I exert the will power necessary to be successful? "I think I can." Can't wait for the downhill roll chugging, "I though I could!"

Hope you all are well!
Happy HCGing!

Day 7- It is a function of 10

2011-01-27T06:27:00.000-08:00

weigh in: 180.0 lbs
loss of: 1.8 pounds

Total release to date: 10.2 pounds!

Don't get me wrong I am so happy to be over the 10 pound loss mark in 7 days and 5 days of VLCD.... however, I laughed at the scale this morning. Every time I get to the point of transitioning into another lower 10 pound bracket- the scale likes to play with me. Nope, sorry not today you got to wait another day (or two- sometimes it likes to creep down or bounce up just to mess with me further). Let's hope the latter does not happen tomorrow. :) I talk of the scale as it is sentient... lol!

Just thought I would put a little tip out there that I am finding very effective this round. I dose all three times during the day while I am cooking for the other members of my family. This not only helps make the 15-20 minutes go by faster (to get better absorption), but it also prevents me from having any cravings to try just a bit of whatever I am making for the other non-dieting people. :)

Anyway- until next time! Hoping to hit 170's tomorrow!